Home

Writing Keeps Me Sane!

Leave a comment

In these difficult times both at work and world around me the only thing we is keeping me sane and keeps me going is my writing. As without my writing there would be no way to allow those emotions which would fester and aggravate my depression would go bouncing around my head getting worse.

It is ironic when times in the world get difficult it can also be in a weird way be inspiration for writing currently especially with myself and my role-playing games. Now it would be nice to find a real focus for this creativity in a more positive way to counteract the negative world around us currently.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Frustration Turning Into Anger!

Leave a comment

As the days turn into weeks since the EU Referendum here in the United Kingdom and nothing has been done either way other than those responsible running away from the mess they created and those in power just seem to be lost what to do next!

Add to this only hope for the country, one Mr Corbyn and a real left-wing party, who could unite the country and finally take if forward to a new brighter future is being attacked by an establishment out of fear that they will lose their power and the people finally will not need them any more.

This an unrelenting attack on Mr Corbyn which now threaten the very basis of our democracy, freedom and the very unity of the country itself. It is fast turning from a battle of a popular Labour leader against those Labour MPs who have sided with the establishment against their own socialist principles to a battle for Britain itself.

It is quickly turning into a battle between the people and the very people who rule them in Parliament and the elite within the establishment and British society. It is starting to overshadow Brexit the very cause which started this whole sorry affair.

In the end this battle between the Labour voters who voted in the very Labour MPs they voted in not accepting the leader they selected for the Labour Party. Basically those Labour MPs who are opposing Mr Corbyn as leader of their party are showing a disrespect to both their own voters and very process they claim to support that is democracy.

As I can see it if Mr Corbyn loses and the rebel Labour MPs it will be last nail in the great cornerstone of what made the United Kingdom great and well respected in the world that is our Democracy. It will mean the establishment and the MPs within Parliament will become even more remote and ineffective as a government only catering to a elite and privileged few within British society and we can kiss our democracy, freedoms and tolerant society good-bye.

Those of you who out there who say this is a grim and dark future if Mr Corbyn loses have not been watching recent events here in the United Kingdom in so much the systematic removal of our rights, including human rights, in the name of security and business; the growing gap between the rich and poor; systematic vilifying of the disabled, unemployed and poor and growing right-wing press run by moguls who spout right-wing, bigoted and government propaganda as the truth.

As the weeks go on after the EU Referendum my frustration with what is happening here in the United Kingdom politically, socially and morally is turning into a real anger at people around me and the country as a whole.

I used to be proud to be British and English but after recent events I am now ashamed to be British and even more ashamed to be born an Englishman. Our behaviour as a country and people has been shameful and not that of real British and Englishman which is to knuckle down and get things sorted out rather than blame everyone for our problems as we do now!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part DXLIX

Leave a comment

It has been a long time since I have written anything here but the past few months have been very eventful for me with myself running a successful Vampire Role-Playing game at a local Role-Playing Club and the EU Referendum here in the United Kingdom. Both have taken up a lot of my time and focus for two different reasons but both have allowed me in their own ways exercise my writing and ability to express myself.

Regardless currently I feel trapped in so much I am at a loss how to move forward in my life for the first time there is underlying feeling that I have not been so alive or energised in a long time about things.

The Vampire Role-Playing Game has finally allowed me to exercise my imagination, creativity and storytelling skills something I have missed in recent years. What makes it better is the fact I am actually running a game which works and can hold the interest of the players to a point they are looking forward to the next game.

It turns out this is something I should of done a long time ago as it certainly helped my depression no end as it has stopped my focusing on the negative aspects of my life and given me something positive in my life which also starts to exercise my creative side.

In it’s own way the EU Referendum here, especially with leave result, has finally focused by political views and what I want out of the world around me. Though I suspect my left-wing views will upset people around me but frankly those it does I am starting to really wonder if they should even be part of my life.

It has validated my political views and finally allowed me to be what I have always wanted to be that is dreamer, free thinker and idealist as in these difficult times here in United Kingdom it is a good defence against the terrible things happening around me. As after all it is hope and dreams of a better world keep us all going and moving forward especially when we are prepared to stand up and be counted.

In the end those who stand by me as I change over the next few years from a quiet, unassuming and retiring person to a outspoken, questioning and outgoing person will be worth knowing while those who leave or ignore me because of this change in the end were really not friends in the first place o will not be missed by myself.

There is still a long way for me to go in this transition as I am stuck on the first step how to actually change my job to something which really challenges and complements my future new self more rather than currently making feel constantly tired, stressed and unfulfilled.

Finally I should really start to explore if I could actually write stories which could interest people after all it seams I can be a good storyteller which something I am still get used to.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Trapped In A Dark Place!

Leave a comment

After the events of the past few weeks and other things I have had a growing feeling I am trapped in a dark place with no real visible way out!

I know I must start to change things around me as if I do not it will finally overwhelm me to a point it will destroy who I could become.

But I have no real idea how change things or who to ask to help me!
Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

A Strange Idea Thrown At Me!

Leave a comment

Recently a number of friends on the various social web sites have comment that I should write a novel or generally take my writing more seriously. Something I never thought of doing mostly because I never had the confidence to write anything even here on my journal.

Add to this I have come from a more scientific academic background and worked with computers most of my life which far from encourages creative writing but a very analytical way of creating things.

But some people out there actually have more faith in me than I do in myself and suggested that I should write more seriously, one even suggested I write a novel. It is very gratifying that someone has that much faith in my creative side.

Though I do have one thing on my side in so much I have started to running Role-Playing Games again very successfully in so much the players have enjoyed the games I have created to a point they are looking forward to the next sessions of the games to see what is going to happen next.

Basically it seams I have a knack of creating and weaving a Role-Playing plots which can hold the interest of the players which is something I would need to do if I were to start to write more seriously.

It is getting to a point that I should think more seriously about writing taking full advantage of the storytelling experience when creating and running Role-Playing games.

I certainly should start small and continue writing the snippets of stories which appear in my other blog to get the confidence writing plus get some more running Role-Playing games under my belt before I move on.

It might help also that I find courses on creative writing which suit the way I do things and give me firmer basis how to write which was never given me when I was in school when it was really needed.

Finally I have to start reading a lot again to give my imagination enough exercise again after the last few years of being in the desert as far as being creative.

So it is time for me to start to seriously thinking about this as I have said some of my friends think I could actually do it!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

A Bitter Pill To Take!

Leave a comment

I woke up this morning to the bitterest pill I ever had to take in my life with the result of EU Referendum here in the United Kingdom which was for Leave the EU.

It was really a roller-coaster of feeling this morning which ranged from despair, fear to anger at my fellow countrymen here in England being so stupid to destroy the country and plunge it into economic turmoil simply because of fear of immigration and out-dated patriotism come nationalism.

Then as I walked into work I started to think that it exactly what I needed in my life to finally move on to better things and the world is my oyster. If the people around me have decided as a country to move backwards that I do not have to do the same but turn a something potentially bad into an opportunity to grow and move onto better things.

I will admit it is a very scary prospect currently but in the end it will mean I finally move on something even better and break me out of a rut my life has become.

There has been one good thing come out of today is that I am stronger than I think I am and for the first time in my life I never been so sure about something in so much leaving the EU is worse thing this country has ever done and I am not afraid to stand up and say it!

Unlike England and it’s people who live under a media driven fear of immigrants and terrorist, I have moved froward towards a life not blighted by fear but a more positive life of passion and a real belief in myself.

It may been a bitter pill to take this morning but it may in the end the biggest opportunity in my life which I should grasp with both hands.

The most surprising thing is at the end of the day I may be very angry with my fellow countryman but I am very upbeat about my future!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part DXLVIII

Leave a comment

I have been cold today which is usual for late May which at the moment is making a mockery of the global warming argument who strangely keeping very quiet. It is not doing my mood much good as I rather be warm this time of year as it always makes me feel a lot better. I am hoping it gets warm again as I could do with the boost in my mood currently.

Other than that it has been interesting week away from work doing my civic duty serving on a jury in the local Crown Court which turned out it did me a lot of good as I had a break from work. It also highlighted just how toxic the atmosphere at work has become to a point it has started to make me feel ill.

The only thing which made the Jury Service a lot more stressful than it should of been was the fact the company I worked for did not have the good grace or real sense of civic duty to pay me during my Jury Service and expect a poorly funded Justice Department to foot the bill of the lost of any earnings.

I know companies have the choice if they pay someone or not during anyone’s Jury Service but I find it very low that modern companies choose their profits before their civic duty to the country as after all they have same civic obligations to the country which allows them to do business so by not giving something back other than taxes it really shows their disrespect they have for the country and it’s justice system. But their actions reflects the modern morality of business who put profits before everything else!

Now I have that off my chest the past few week have not been that bad if anything very successful outside of work with my first two sessions of my Vampire: The Masquerade Role-playing Game run at a local Role-Playing Group going down well with my Players. It seams I have not lost my knack of running Role-Playing Games if anything it was a lot easier than I expected. Though I still get very daunted by the prospect of the next session as in the background my lack of confidence still plagues me.

So it looks as if my Role-Playing will go from strength to strength as I play and run more Role-Playing games so currently it looks like I have a rosy future there which should start to lead to some more interesting possibilities outside of work.

In the end after today at work I really do need new possibilities even with work as it was not a very auspicious start at work as I have only been away from work for just over a week and the store looked a mess. Those responsible really did not care or understood why that is was so bad.

Work depending on a few and allowing others not to care they are really making a rod for their own backs so if those they depend on either leave or turn around and say they have had enough they are royally screwed!

But as always in the modern world people rarely look beyond their own noses and they really lack an understanding of their own effect on the people and world around them!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Older Entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 546 other followers