Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Once again Autumn is here with a vengeance which as always means my mood drops and the season of colds and runny noses as always. Also never helped by the fact another peak at work starts again with all the fun of Black Friday and Christmas shoppers which would have been fun but for the fact modern people are not quite as friendly and patient as people were when I was younger.

It is one of those times when I am thinking of my future and wondering if everything is really worth the effort which at the moment I not thinking it is. As always never helps that I feel trapped in a situation I have no control over regardless of the fact that I do but my depression as always robs me of my confidence and inclination to do anything about it.

It has been frustrating few months as I’ve not had inspiration and inclination to sit down and write regardless of the fact my mind and imagination is full of ideas which I want to complete. Currently I am finding every excuse not to restart writing again almost as if my confidence has gone.

At some point I am going to have to force myself to start writing again as I have to as I need to stop the drifting through life as I am currently as it is not exactly productive and soul destroying for me. I need to do it for myself soon as I know it will make me feel better about my current situation.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

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At the moment it is one of those times when I am bored with life all made worse by the fact I cannot write at the moment because I lack both the inspiration and inclination to do so. Never helped currently with myself feeling I am trapped in a place I really do not want to be currently.

Even writing this journal entry currently is hard work but it is needed to break the cycle I am in currently when I need to do something to move forward rather than feeling trapped as I do currently.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Once again a Conservative Government here in the United Kingdom is blighted by sleaze, corruption and sexual abuse the second time in less than 50 years!

What makes this all worse the Conservative Party Elite and the Establishment they represent actually think this behaviour is acceptable and even try to hide it from the public. Both use it to keep their minions in line and hold on to power!

What is becoming clear it is time this is dealt with once and for all time with removal of the offenders from corridor of power, public life as such abuse and corruption is not acceptable any more in a civilised society.

But as always the British public will turn a blind eye to the abuse and corruption because it is easier to do nothing rather than make things better!!!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Disillusioned of England!

Posted: 8 October, 2017 in Comment, Life, United Kingdom

At the moment it is getting more and more difficult for me to live and work in the country of my birth as I am becoming more disconnected to it as it is not the country I was born into but a country which is becoming hard edged and inhumane.

I am lucky where I live as I am isolated from the worse of what is happening in this country as the town I live in is a backwater who almost lives in a bubble of it’s own. But I am surrounded by media and feeling that the country is heading towards a disaster which could of be so easily avoided. All made worse that I feel powerless to change what is going to happen as I feel out of step with my own country and people.

Even recoiling working for a multinational company and my basic ethics and honesty is becoming difficult as my faith in Western Capitalism has been servilely dented by recent events over the past decades especially the 1990s. I have watch Western Capitalism change from something which benefited everyone as it gave a change to all to what it has become a Capitalism which only benefits the few at the expense of the many. A Capitalism which now encourages inhumanity and exploitation at the expense of people’s basic human rights.

In the end I am becoming more and more disillusioned about living and working in an England I do not believe in any more if anything I am starting to hate more and more. I am starting wanting to escape to a place which I can start to grow again and not feel like I just want to give up and not bother.

England is not the green and pleasant land for me any more but a dark and foreboding place with little and no real future!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Once again I wake up not feeling as well as I should for no real reason other than I suspect that the stress from elsewhere has finally caught up with a vengeance. One of those morning when I feel like I have drunk last night when not a drop passed my lips.

At least I am writing this morning rather than feeling totally down about my life and the way I feel. There is always a hope that the day will get better for me. I need to do some writing for two weeks time along with getting some ideas from deep inside me to continue the Vampire: The Masquerade Chronicle towards a spectacular end.

Plus I really want to do some other role-playing projects as I am itching to get both started and finished.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

As always my life follows it’s typical pattern of me getting keen to move on only to find that fatigue and lack of self-confidence blunting my efforts to move forward. This as always makes feel frustrated and useless which is closely followed by myself feeling I want to curl up and hide from the world.

So once again I need to pick myself up and start to focus on the future and start to once again isolate myself from the issues around me which I have no real control over or are really irrelevant to my life especially at work. Plus I need to start writing again even if I almost have to force myself to do so as it focuses me on the more positive side of my life.

I have so much writing to do especially connected to my Role-Playing as I want to push a Vampire: The Masquerade Chronicle and Over the Edge Series forward. All because I want to start to push forward finding a group of players who want to play more story based role-playing games locally. All for my own sanity and to build a social life outside of work.

I am start to sound like a broken record but I am not moving forward as fast as I would like and I like to do it carefully rather than in a spectacular way in an effort to change my life.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

It is time I stopped being a victim of the people and world around me and look inside myself a gain the strength to become more proactive with my life. As always this is a difficult task because of my depression always giving me that self doubt and lack of confidence to do so.

I need to ask for help from someone!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.