Journal of a Lost Soul Part CDXXXIV

I have been quiet for the last few weeks as I have not exactly been myself and slightly under the weather because as always life, people and things conspire to stress me out hence make me feel more ill than I actually am. But at always I will survive and slowly get better.

My life as per usual slowly moves forward and even slowly getting better financially and at home life is moving forward as new plans are being made for the layout of the house. All very exciting and should change the nature and use of the house especially downstairs for the better.

Now also slowly thinking about my future and what I actually want from my life which certainly currently more than just work, sleeping and eating pus working in a store for a company which cares more about making money than actually looking after it’s customers and employees. I know one thing I like more time and inclination to write more especially to do with my Role-Playing Game projects some of which are long overdue completion.

So my future job must have far more regular shift pattern and certainly be far more fulfilling both intellectually and creatively so I do not come back from work stressed but energized and far more happier. Currently I am little at a loss in which direction and how to even find a new job but much like most of my life I will be struck by bold of inspiration when arrive my end every few while.

In the meanwhile I have to survive the current situation in my life and start to make the best of it even move forward again!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

The Doubled Edge Sword of Writing!

At the moment writing is a double edge sword as far as I’m concerned as it both connects me to the world around me through my writing. But it also disconnects me from the world as I have to sit in front of my laptop to write which means I tend to be apart from the world outside as it is something you have to do alone.

So in the end my writing has become a double edged sword as it both connects and disconnects me from the world at the same time a paradox which can be difficult for myself to resolve. It does have a strange effect after I have achieved something writing I never feels like I have actually done anything.

I suppose it is the nature of writing and I as per usual over thinking things plus something I will have to reconcile one day.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

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Taking No Responsibility Society of Ours!

The one thing that I have observed in our society just that very few individuals and groups, including Governments and Corporations, are prepared to take any responsibility for their actions or things they have created. If anything they try their hardest not to take responsibility to a point they will blame everyone but themselves. What makes it worse people are angry about it but they simply do nothing or accept it as the normal behaviour as most of these people show the same behaviour themselves.

This behaviour has become worse since the 1990s to a point it is ingrained into the whole fabric of our society especially here in the West and it is crippling and destroying society from the inside. Because this lack of taking responsibility for our actions both as individuals and as society as a whole means we are not facing the major issues which blight our society and lives. Such issues being racism, hate and the general apathy which are currently holding our society back from progressing forward again.

But as always what I have just said will fall on deaf ears as large majority of the people who read these words I write will not want to take responsibility because it sounds like too much hard work to do so.

So the world will continue on its present path with Governments and Corporations dodging their responsibilities causing unnecessary suffering to people who simply want to improve and live their lives. People will still not take responsibility for the issues in their society will continue blame everyone else, for example immigrants, for these issues rather than themselves who are the real cause of these issues.

So nothing will change and society will eventually destroy itself from its core simply because everyone will simply not take responsibility. I know taking responsibility is hard but it has to be done even on individual level for us all to move forward!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

The First Salvo of the Elections!

The major three Political Parties have fired their first salvo of their political campaigns of the General Election in May here in the United Kingdom.

It really looks like these Political Parties still sound empty, hollow and spent as political forces they are still as remote from the General Electorate as they have always been. They simply seam incapable as groups to change even after time and time again they have been told by growing majority of people they are out of touch!

So it looks like the General Election in May is going to be a close thing not because in truth there is now very little difference between the Political Parties because a large number of people here in the United Kingdom simply will not vote because they believe there is no point voting as nothing will change by voting.

This really suits the three major Political Parties as they will get back into the halls of power and the MPs will once again be on the gravy train doing nothing but making a good living acting as Politicians without actually doing anything to run the country as they are paid to do by us the General Electorate.

So it looks like we are in for one of the uninspiring General Election campaigns from the three major Political Parties who will make the same empty promises and lies to get us to vote for them. Then to make this mix even more worse we have to suffer the right wing and hate filled campaign of the United Kingdom Independence Party.

It might be idea if we as a General Electorate actually voted but not for the three major Political Parties or right wing parties like UKIP or BNP but for a real change either Greens, Republican or other minor political parties who actually have real different policies or spoil our ballet papers to send the a message we are not happy the way the current major Political Parties have been running the country and we want a change their attitudes!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CDXXXIII

Today I have a quiet day enjoying the isolation of my own mind hiding from the cold weather outside and the stress of the world of people around me. The last week at work has been a very stressful week not because of the amount of work I had to do but because people around me were not exactly good at organising themselves which meant they ended up getting stressed with rubbed off on me.

So today my plan is to sit and relax in front of my laptop and write ignoring the world around me fro a short while which is always helped by a cold, wet and windy winter day outside. Plus being a Sunday it is a nice luxury to have a peaceful Sunday doing little other than be a couch potato.

I also aim to get some writing done today on my various Role-Playing backgrounds and journal. I am still getting used to the fact that I can write though with some very rough edges especially after a life of being told I was no good at English even incapable of such things. Life currently is taking an interesting direction for me and currently I have no idea where it will lead but all very exciting for me.

It also helps that my confidence about myself and my abilities is starting to grow again even to a point I do not feel embarrassed about them or allow insecure people to put me down because of them. Also helps I am starting to actively fight my fear about life and death which has always held me back from my full potential.

But still small steps currently but at least I am moving forward again!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Bullying: The New Management Technique!

A worrying trend I have noticed in my working life especially in the recent years is the about of bullying which takes place at work most of it is very covert and I suspect some people who are doing it do not even realise what they are doing is bullying.

Then there are those who think that bullying is a perfectly acceptable practice at work even a valid management technique dealing with people. So a disgusting situations occur when someone is having either home difficulties, physical or mental health problems is bullied out of a job by managers who believe they are not putting 100% into the job rather than should be doing as good managers asking why someone is not performing.

But some managers simply find it easier to bully people than actually do the job they are paid to do that is manage people. This could be due a lack of training given them by companies or more likely they are part of a general corporate culture which encourages managers to bully people rather than manage people as they should.

This is a real sad reflection of our modern business practice in the West and yet another indication that it is high time we started to question and governments to investigate business practices as bullying is not acceptable anywhere full stop!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CDXXXII

I have had a quiet week inside my head as all I wanted to do is sleep and play silly games on the computer so I have not really achieved anything this week which has been a little frustrating but not surprising as life has been a mixed bag with both bad and good things happening in my life.

The major good thing being I can earn bonuses at work and not lose any Tax Credits which means that my partner can still get a small part of my Tax Credits so she can at least buy things for herself. Though still not enough to have a totally independent financially.

The major issues this week has being work again with myself finally getting annoyed with certain people at work constantly talking down to me and treating me as if I am stupid. All very ironic in so much I am both better qualified and more experienced than the people talking down to me. I suspect it will come to a head soon as I expect to be treated as at least an equal not as something found on the bottom of peoples shoes.

Plus the way the certain people are acting is disrespectful and totally unprofessional especially in a work environment and usually leads to resentment and open conflict both of which poisoning the work environment for everyone. But sadly the people in question really do not understand what they are doing is wrong as they seem incapable of interacting with people in a social or work environment.

It may be I am currently thinking too deeply about the situation but I have to do something about it and other things at work as they are starting to effect my depression badly which is starting to make me ill again both physically and mentally. Plus my aim in life is to get to a point when the depression is controlled and I have the strength to change my life for the better and in a new direction.

Though currently I have no idea what direction I want to go.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.