One of those days when I wake up overwhelmed by what I need to do to a point I am once again at a loss to know where to start which always results in myself doing nothing. Though it does not help work is still draining far too much out of me even with myself trying to focus on my own job and try to ignore those around me who are trying to drag me down with their negativity.

So once again I wake up frustrated with myself more than the world around me as I have far more control over myself than everyone else. I am finding difficult to dig deep within myself as the years of allowing others to dictate what I do and believe in rather than having the confidence to plough my own path through life.

All this due my depression over the years which has dented my confidence and self-esteem to a point it really feels like I cannot move forward and make every excuse not to move forward. It as always makes me feels trapped in a prison of my own making as I cannot blame those who have surrounded me as I have always had the choice not to build the prison.

In the end it highlights that I am going to have dig very deep within myself to move forward and choose something new to focus on to break the cycle of my current life which could be earning to be real Storyteller or focus more on running better and more role-playing games.

With all this going inside things have not all been bad as I have managed to do some maintenance on my computers and web sights which included resetting up my own cloud by replacing with fork of ownCloud called Nextcloud which ended up a far better piece of software as it more open source. Add to this I have found a way via the internet to load Google Play on my Fire Tablet which has opened up a load of possibilities on the tablet.

So at the moment my life is one step forward and two steps backwards.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

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It is coming end of two weeks off work which has been largely restful though as always not as productive as I would of liked but I finally sorted out my cloud and web sites so they use a dynamic dns service which causes me no hassle. I have finally said good-bye to no-ip a service which should really avoided as it may be free but is really annoying.

I have also finally got around to setting up my partners WordPress.org site on my server at home so she can build the web sites she needs all slightly long overdue on my part.

Last few days really has got me thinking that I am really wasted at work as regardless of what I think I can do, I can do a lot more with computers especially when Linux and open source software is concerned. Time to blow my own trumpet here as at home I have set up an Web Server using Apache2, Music service using Icecast, a personal cloud using Nextcloud and a number of web sites using WordPress.org. All no mean feats in themselves.

Time to really look for a job which suits my talents even better and stretches my further intellectually and creatively as what has become very clear over the past two weeks the large source of my current anxiety issues is work. Though not for the obvious reasons that is the pressure from managers to get targets but from those around me at work who cannot follow procedures or have really bad attitudes towards work and customers. Unfortunately some things I cannot control and those who can seam reluctant to do something about it.

Once again it has come to a point that I need to remind myself work is only ends to a means and ignore those people at work who cannot follow procedures and negative about work. After all, all they have been doing is making me feel worse than I should.

Add to this I should start to make effort doing more things outside of work including more writing, more role-playing and start to explore the possibility of becoming a traditional storyteller. All in the effort to counteract the issues at work and put more positive slant to my life.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Putting Money Before Living!

Posted: 1 September, 2017 in Capitalism, Comment, Life

A friend on Facebook is thinking about buying a house here and asked for advice with the usual lot of answers.

The most annoying answers which annoyed me the most are those people who regarded buying a house as investment and not as a home. It really shows a poor set of priorities as putting money before finding a home to actually live in and enjoy shows deficiency in their characters.

But like most things in our modern Western Capitalism people are far too focused on money rather than what is more important things for example creating a comfortable and fulfilling life.

My personal view people should start to put life and living it before money as always life is something we only have once and need to live and money is just an ends to a means and a token.

Centring your life around the collection of a token really shows there is something lacking somewhere in your life. Living should always come first!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

I had one of those crazy thoughts while doing the washing up and I wanted to ask just crazy people thought it was!

The thought was what if I learnt to be a traditional story teller that is someone who stands up in front of people and tells stories though not a children’s story teller as that has been done already.

This idea came to my head because I remembered such a story teller in a festival in village I used to lived in plus it would fit my new persona the Steam Powered Story Teller so well.

So what you people think?

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

It is one of those days when I feel lost with so much I want to do but I have no idea where to start which is frustrating me terribly. I know it is a matter of finding a starting point and knuckle down to finally start to move forward.

I suspect it is also due to the fact it another start to a week which brings the usual Monday morning blues even if I am not at work. Add to this I was little disappointed last night with some people around me in so much they are very happy to stick with what they know and not be brave enough to try something new.

Though I was not a total loss as I managed to test a Role-Playing game to see how easy it was to run which turned out to be very productive in the end. In itself it was a confidence builder in so much I actually tried to run a role-playing game from scratch with little preparation and it worked remarkably well. This is something I have only started recently as most of my life I have convinced myself I could not ad lib and needed to always be prepared with very detailed notes. Yes, these have their place in role-playing games but due to player actions the ad libbing skills are also necessary for someone who runs games. Such skills can only enhance the experience of the role-playing games I run in the future.

So in the end with all the disappointment the previous night it was also was an evening when I moved forward as a story teller and grew in confidence. This makes how I feel this morning almost strange as I should feel elated as last night I moved forward not backwards.

Though writing this seams to make me feel much better as it is focusing more on the positive side of things than negative side of things.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

With one shift to go at work before 2 weeks holiday from work something I am really looking forward to as it will give me a chance to catch up with many things. Since I am back on some form of medication things have become easier again for me though I am starting to get restless again but in a good way. That is unlike in the past the restlessness is not caused by my depression but by a real feeling that there has to be more to life than I have at the moment.

Though the only thing which does frustrate me is the fact for some reason I am afraid to change the little things in my life and start a new direction. I really do not know where this fear is coming from but it is currently deep seated inside my psyche at the moment. I am going to have to dig deep inside myself to move on and stop worrying what effect changes will have on the people I know as after all if they are real people they will understand why.

Though small steps have been made with finally myself getting round to revamping my personal web site something which is long overdue though it does need more work done on it but at least it is usable. Those who are interested the site has the address http://thesteampoweredstoryteller.duckdns.org/ though be warned it is still work in progress.

Add to this, I know it is only a small thing, but someone asked me to sign someone leaving card “The Steam Powered Story Teller” but it is certainly inspired me to start to reinvent part of myself as The Steam Powered Storyteller and find a way locally when I can become a real Story Teller rather than Game Master with respect to Role-Playing. Though to do this will require a lot of tact and diplomacy but in the end may need blunt honesty on my part.

So in the grey mundane life called my life there is some bright lights of change and hope starting to poke through.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

I’m coming to the point we here in the United Kingdom needs to remove a lot of long held traditions and institutions of ours as they may be good for the tourist trade but they are not good for the future of the country.

We need to remove those thing which are holding back our country and represent an existing Establishment and Government which cannot or is unwilling to embrace the future and replace them with a new Establishment and Government which can cope with the pressures and global economy of the 21st Century.

If this means the removal of the Queen, remaining Nobles and House of Lords so be it as they be part of what was Britain they, much like Church of England, are things of the past whose relevance has long gone.

Our society here in Britain needs a big shake up from the top to the bottom and need modernising to cope with the 21st Century and once an for all time the Class system needs to be smashed as it has no relevance once again.

We as a country need to move forward not hold onto traditions and institutions which have no purpose any more but to hold us back.

We as a country need to create new traditions and institutions which reflect both the 21st Century and the real modern Britain which include all the people not a few.

We need to do this soon as if this country does not adapt to the modern world soon it will be left behind by the rest of the world and sink into oblivion of old age largely forgotten by the rest of the world.

It is now becoming to a point either adapt and survive or stay the same and die for this country!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.