Still Life in the Old Dog!

I’ve been quiet of the past week and so as I slowly get back to being myself again which is always a slow process when I’m coming out of a period of depression. But I am still here just a little quiet inside and it will take a while for me to get back to writing this journal regularly again.

I am already starting to feel better physically and mentally even in the first month which is a relief considering my depression was responsible for the large proportion of my aches and pains over the last year. So now I will know soon enough the actual toll old age has taken on me.

But soon there will be life in the old dog again!


Please note: If  want to see my second life journal then go to the Journal of a Spectral Traveller.

The Slow Journey Back Into the Light

I’ve quiet for the past two weeks because I have started the long journey out of yet another period of depression which involves the taking anti-depressants. But as always things never go simply for myself as that would be far too easy.

As always the anti-depressants are having physical side effects which frankly making me feel rotten most of the time. Unfortunately it’s a common effect of starting taking anti-depressants though that does not make any less distressing. All that keeps me going at the moment is the fact after 6 weeks I will start to feel better and start the real journey back to feeling myself again.

Add to this the effect that all the sudden my mind has gone quiet as the constant angry and obsessive thoughts have gone which strangely made myself feel unsettled and too quiet inside. I will have to relearn yet again to be human again and how to have real emotions yet again.

So the long journey to being me again has started for the third time in the past 6 years.


Please note: If  want to see my second life journal then go to the Journal of a Spectral Traveller.

Start of Another Journey Out of the Dark

I have been quiet on my journal lately as finally I have started to do something about my depression once again as it has started to dominate my life both physically and mentally. All this because of a stress headache I got a few weeks ago which was warning that there was something wrong inside myself.

So once again I’m back on the anti-depressants to help me fight off my personal demon my depression which personally feel as it is a sort of defeat on a personal level but something I need to do to keep both my mental and physical health good.

As always the anti-depressants always have a quick effect on my mental and physical state, contrary to what the Doctor says, but as always I have to fight the physical side effects of the anti-depressants a the start.

Currently I am very quiet and calm inside myself which is a great contrast over the past year which there has been a lot of turmoil inside myself because of my depression. I’m still getting used to being quiet inside as it almost feels like I’m empty inside but I know in the end it will mean I will be better in the end.

All this because of the pressures of my life both financially and work wise which has be constant over the last year. This time work is going to take the blame for me being on the anti-depressants unlike last time as they are totally responsible for my current problems.


Please note: If  want to see my second life journal then go to the Journal of a Spectral Traveller.

The Dice have been Thrown!

Well today I’ve finally done something about my depression by actually making an appointment with my doctor in the hope they will give me the anti-depressants so I can once again get my head together again.

I have left it too long to get around to this as over the last year my moods have started to bit extreme especially angry along with constant ache and pains most of which I suspect are to do with my depression being active again.

This is not in my part an admission of defeat against my depression but an admission I really need to do something about my depression before it makes me ill again.

I will have a little pleasure at my works expense in so much only time I could get an appointment for the Doctor when I should be at work. Frankly it is high time they started to put themselves out for me and not visa versa.

Please note: If want to see my second life journal then go to the Journal of a Spectral Traveller.

Pets Maketh the Home

After over a year of having two dogs in the house they certainly make a house into a home not somewhere where you just live. Before my partner moved in I lived in a house by myself with a Cat who was far from sociable and it did not feel much like a home but somewhere I just lived and existed.

But now with my partner and dogs my house now feels like a home, if little chaotic and untidy. All helped by the welcome I get from the dogs every time I arrive back from a stressful day at work. Plus the constant unconditional companionship and love the dogs give you maketh our home here.

Even with the trials and tribulations of having two dogs in the end it is all been very worthwhile.


Please note: If want to see my second life journal then go to the Journal of a Spectral Traveller.

A Major Frustration in My Life!

What has always frustrated me most of my life, especially when writing this journal, is the fact I cannot put my ideas into written form. What ever I write never seems to satisfy or even convey fully my thoughts even this journal entry.

It is not the fact I want to be a writer but more effective at conveying my ideas to others in a very effective way.

What I think did not help was the way I was taught English when I was at school which was a time when they did not teach the basic grammar but emphasised the creative side of the language. Frankly this was, in my personal opinion, the wrong way to teach English and I am still paying the price of this error!

After 15 years of working with Computer Languages it has become very clear much as a Computer language, a specialist subset of a language, you need to learn the basic syntax before you can create and write code. This in my personal opinion the written language should be treated the same in so much the basic grammar should have been taught me first before the creative side as it would of given me the basic tools to be truly creative and to express myself more effectively.

But as always I have to muddle on a result of the failure of our modern education system teaching our own and wonderful English Language in the hope eventually I will get more effective writing with practice which my journal gives me.


Please note: If want to see my second life journal then go to the Journal of a Spectral Traveller.

Cuppa……

Nothing like a Cuppa to start the day and to end a day though it has to be the magic Cuppa!

That is a Cuppa made in a large mug with good strong tea with little milk and most definitely sweet. Much like the Garage cuppa my Gran used to make for everyone in their Garage at least twice a day in a Billy Can.

Like the Billy Can the cup which holds the cuppa is rarely washed so is discoloured by tannin within the tea.

It seems that a cuppa calms me down and winds me down after a days work so I can enjoy the rest of my evening.


Please note: If want to see my second life journal then go to the Journal of a Spectral Traveller.