Since I’ve started my anti-depressants again I have started to climb out of the dark place that is was my depression though unlike last time something is very different to last time. It may be this time because I have a Partner, blog and regularly visit Second Life as this time I am more creative and imaginative than the last time.
It is still a bit slow and unfocused at the moment but it does give me hope that this time as I get better my creativity becomes more focused as I know it will make myself feel so much better creating things again even if it a computer code or personal web site.
The constant frustration over the last few years while in my personal dark place was the fact it had robbed my creativity and energy to do anything. It is a horrible place to be when your mind is racing with ideas with no way to get the ideas out of your head. It makes you feel like you are a failure as an intelligent person.
I have once again hopes for the future as I slowly climb back to a lighter place from the dark place of my depression with the hope that I finally find a way to really control my depression so I can live a better and more fulfilled life.
There will some out there who will say that myself going back on the anti-depressants is admitting defeat but those who have been where I have will understand the anti-depressants give me time and space to get better. It is better to do something rather than keep suffering because of stupid pride.
Please note: If want to see my second life journal then go to the Journal of a Spectral Traveller.