Writing From The Heart!

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I always write from the heart and when inspiration strikes me which always makes what I say in my journals very personal though it does also mean that my writing tends to be very rough and ready. It also means sometimes I tend to ramble and go in circles.

It is sometimes gets a little frustrating my end as I would like to be far more polished not helped by confidence issue caused by my years at school during which I was told both by my teachers and peers that I had no talent if anything stupid.

This has always effected me until recently when I started to write my journal and found that I am not really that bad at writing though very rough and ready. At some point I should do something to improve the way I write and express myself to write but as always it is difficult to motivate myself.

So until that time I will keep writing my journals which still helps with myself coping with my depression and I am actually starting to enjoy writing the journals themselves. Plus it all helps in so much the journal gives me practice writing and finding my own style.

So for the meanwhile I will continue to write from my heart.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Depression: The Forgotten Physical Effects!

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Every time I get back on the anti-depressants I remember the physical effects of my depression on myself as not only my obsessive thoughts go but also a lot of physical ache and pains go away at the same time.

I think this is one of the things most people who have never depression never really understand are the physical effects of depression and other people put it down to the person in question moaning about something again.

But I and everyone else should not be surprised by the physical effects of depression after all always being in a dark place your body reacts to it by always being prepared to run and hide from the dark things. This is never a good thing for your body as it never relaxes and constantly flooded with less than healthy chemicals.

In the end it is always first thing I notice when I go back on the anti-depressants is the fact the ache and pains go though I do sleep a lot at first as my body recovers from constant wash of unhealthy chemicals.

Though I still have ache and pains but that just due to growing older and things happened in the past so perfectly normal and relief from the constant ache and pains because of the depression.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Labour Have Sold Out!

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The biggest joke of British Politic over last few decades has been the Labour Party who have sold out their working class and union roots for votes even to a point of totally abandoning their socialist and left wing politics.

Now the Labour party is just a slightly liberal Conservative Party who represents the same, slightly liberal, privileged people as the Conservative Party and turned their backs on both the working class people who supported them and the Unions who supported them financially.

What really has shown they have finally sold out is the fact the Labour Party has finally sold out their pro European stance by supporting the current Conservative government with the European Referendum.

My personal view is that both the working people and Unions of this country make it clear that the current way the Labour Party has gone and have the balls to cut off both their support even financially from the Labour party.

The Labour party has become a joke of political party who have sold out their principles, morals and working man for votes and power!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

A Gentle Reminder to the Conservatives!

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This is a gentle reminder to both Mr Cameron and the Conservative Party of the United Kingdom especially when you are talking to the Europeans that is you do not talk for all the British people but only less than half the people.

You did not get a mandate to talk for the British people in the General Election and those of us who did not vote for you and your party do not appreciate and find offensive that you claim to talk for all the British people!

But as always both Mr Cameron and the Conservative party here in United Kingdom they are arrogant, self serving and only serve that small minority of the privileged part of society at the expense of every one else!

On ironic last comment is I think the Conservative Party in Parliament are slowly waking up to the fact that they really do not have real power and mandate there to do want they want as they are having to back down on a number of policies including the removal of Human Rights Act and the Fox Hunting Ban.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Depression: Quiet After the Storm!

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Once I start my anti-depressives again after a break I always feel very calm even empty headed as my mind is so quiet inside. It is a strange feeling which always a bit off putting especially when I have been through a particularly difficult time with my depression as I have been through over the past month.

At least now without the clutter of the obsessive and negative thoughts within my mind I can relax and allow back the real thoughts of things I need to do plus those creative thoughts which have been suppressed by the dark thoughts.

I will get used to the quiet mind again and once again start to live my life free from worry and regard problems as things to be solved not to be feared.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Depression: Always Feels Like a Defeat!

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When I go back onto the anti-depressants it always feels like the defeat and the depression has won but in my case it does mean I can live a normal life. That is I am free from the constant obsessive thoughts over trivial things and not constantly angry about small things which occur to everyone every day.

As every time I have talking therapy it takes very little for me to get back to what people would call normal functioning person as long as I stay on the anti-depressants it has started to make me wonder if the whole issue of my depression has a major physical component to it. It has always stuck me that I have a real physical fault within my brain and it’s associated organs.

I have always wondered if there are other people out there have the same thoughts and experiences as myself that is therapies never work as such but by simply taking anti-depressants seam to alleviate large amount of the depression and the worse of its symptoms. I must not only be only one out there who must have had the same experience.

But I looks like I may have to continue to take some form of anti-depressants for the rest of my life along with the constant nagging thought of the feeling with defeat and depression has won though the fact that I can function is a worthwhile price to pay.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Lonely Times Writing!

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Just some times when I sit in front of my laptop writing my journals I feel more alone and remote from the world around me even knowing that someone reads the journal entries.

But I think because the fact actually writing is something you have to by yourself that is either you are by yourself with a laptop or piece of paper in front of you it fires my depression because of that. It’s the fact that you get no real feed back instantly or feels like you have actually achieved or created anything as such.

All this not helped by the fact anything I have done with my life has had a more tangible result to it be it computer programming to merchandising a shop. That is you can actually see what you have created and achieved by doing something.

I still have to get my mind around writing itself is a very personal affair which the results are just ideas and the such in words which can be read by others so it has not real tangible result as the other things I have done elsewhere in my life.

So sometimes I feel both so lonely writing and if I have not achieved a thing regardless of the fact I have!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

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