Archive for the ‘Journal’ Category

It has taken me a year and over 6 months talking to a psychologist I have finally got to a point where I am strong enough mentally to start taking back control of my life after the tumour was taken out. It has been a difficult journey to get there and I am under know illusion that I still have a long way to go still. In itself this has made me feel better in myself but it is going to put some people’s noses out of joint especially at where I work.

Over the next weeks I will need to talk to work as I need to change the priority of my life from just working, sleeping and eating so I can just earn enough to live to make sure that I am both physically and mentally strong enough to fight the return of the tumour or to fight it if the treatment fails and it returns. It is going to be a difficult for those who manage me at work but for myself it is something I need to do as now I have to put myself first especially over the next 2 years.

Considering the fact just over a year ago the tumour could have been indirectly responsible for killing me if it had not been found so the past year has been a bonus another year of life which I could never had. I owe it to myself, surgeons and those who nursed me back to health to do something more with my life rather than just existing.

It sounds selfish but especially over the next 2 years while I am going through the Chemotherapy treatment I need to put myself first and work far down my list of priorities to a point it becomes an ends to a means and not as in the past the thing which dominated my life.

Now I have been given a chance of more years of life I rather not waste them living a life totally dominated by work but a fuller life as I do not know how many years I have got left. Plus I really owe it to myself.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

Yesterday was exactly one year since the operation to remove my tumour took place which was marked quietly by myself. I look at it as another year of life I would not of got if the tumour has not been removed as it was killing me. This highlights a change of attitude to whole event over the past year from feeling like there was no future to being even celebrating every day I live and not be afraid of death any more.

Just now the hardest battle I have to fight is against the effect the Chemotherapy is having on my body and rebuilding my life back to a point I can start to move forward. Currently it is an uphill fight which I keep winning by small victories every day much as my Clinical Psychologist told me to do. I still have to get back to writing and running Role-Playing games but I am starting to write a little more often in this journal.

Last night at work I discovered the hard way why I need to sit quietly after taking my Chemotherapy tablet as I moved too early after taking the tablet which caused some real discomfort in my stomach. I think it also highlighted to my manages and supervisors just how serious my current situation is. I am still suffering today because of last night with discomfort in my stomach. It is one of those times when I should of listened to my body rather than trying to carry on as normal.

Work has not still had a meeting about how I need to change how I work because of my Chemotherapy effects on my body. I suspect that they are putting it discussion off as it is going to be more difficult for them than me as I will be focused on making my life easier at a time when I need to reduce the stress both physically and mentally on my body.

I currently still have no idea of what direction I want to take my life but I know that I need to change things and move away from people who are suffocating me and not challenging me both mentally and intellectually.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

I have not written here in a long time mainly because I have had little to really say and I really did not want to talk to people because I have been suffering with almost crippling Anxiety due to the tumour and chemotherapy I am on currently.

Though now I am on my third set of anti-Anxiety medication again in the hope these ones work better than the last two I took which sadly had undesirable mental side effect which I or my partner could not live with. At present things look good as only feeling I am getting currently is that something is missing which could be as simple as that I am not feeling any Anxiety at the moment.

About three weeks ago things at work had come to a head as my Anxiety was starting to make me physically ill every morning and it was starting to really effect my work in a very negative way. If it had continued I would of either lost my job or got to a point of not wanting to leave the house. I had to have two weeks off to start to get my head back together.

What has come out of this situation is that I need to change who I work in so much I need to start to put myself first as I have found I really have not coped well both physically and mentally with the tumour over the past year. I have been muddling on best I can putting others first and not looking after myself and coming to terms with what has happened.

I am now in the process which as always going to be slow process to change how I work which will include asking for Occupational Therapist to be involved to help me find a better way to work which does not impact my life detrimentally while I am on the Chemotherapy. It is something work is not going to like especially this time of year but it is something I need to do as all I can do currently is work and I have far to fatigued to actually live a life.

It seams the tumour has left me feeling like the rug has been pulled from under me even after a year. II am having great difficulty moving forward though at the moment with the help of a Clinical Phycologist I am starting to move forward in small steps. At the moment it stopping myself being frustrated by the fact that I am not getting better as quick as I would like and understanding it will take time for me to recover mentally regardless of the fact physically I am well on the mend.

I need to start focusing on the positive things, how small they are, that happen each day. I also need to take more control over those things in my life I have control over and stop worrying about those thing I have no real control over.

One positive thing that has come out over the past year I have stopped worrying about dying and I now see the who process as a very sad thing. This in itself is major step forward to me as it will mean I should cope better if the tumour ever comes back. I also means I can get on with my life with out the fear of death colouring my life.

Today’s positive thing is that I have actually written here in my journal.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

Life goes on at its slow pace my end not helped by the fact that I am constantly tired and I am still fighting the general disinterest in life caused by what I am going through. Though now the Psychologist’s appointments are slowing working their magic again much as last time I had talking therapy when I decided to do something about my depression for the first time. Things are starting to slowly change for the better in my own head and I am going to a better place there.

One of the break thorough is the fact I am not fearful of death any more but now I feel a great sadness that I will have to face death. This to some people will sound very morbid but after the brush with death last year with the tumour I suspect that most people in my position change their attitude to death. It is something I have to reconcile in my head as to cope with the fact you are mortal you have to accept death and you cannot live in constant fear of it. As I said before living in fear is not a good place to live as it eats you away and it dominates your life so much you forget you have a life to live.

The other is I am making an effort to start to rebuild my life together in small ways at the moment it will just spending time watching television, reading books and attending a role-playing group once a week. All sound small and insignificant things to do. But after what I have been through they are big steps towards getting a life again not dominated by the tumour/cancer.

There is a strange irony to all this the tumour/cancer may have been enough of a wake up call to actually do something to change my life for real something long overdue. As always it takes something traumatic to get us to do something about the rut we find ourselves in!

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

I have had my second Clinical Psychologist appointment last week which was an interesting and productive in so much it has shown me that I am starting to move forward mentally with coping with the effects of my tumour and chemotherapy. One thing that came out of this appointment I need to stop trying to do too much at once and end up doing nothing because I have tired myself out. So from now on on the advise of the Phycologist I will start to break things down into smaller tasks which will be easier to do and not tire myself as quickly.

For those who are not going through what I am going through, the Chemotherapy, takes a lot out of me to a point I am constantly tired even if I have enough sleep. It makes everyday living more difficult and frustrating as you have not energy to do anything and if you do something you are very fatigued after it. In the end if you are not careful you end up with whole days when all you can do is dose or sleep. It is not a pleasant place to be as you start to think you are wasting your life doing nothing when you have little real choice in the matter.

During the appointment I have found that I do not fear death any more because of what happened now I feel sadness about dying as my connection to this world will be gone forever. This in itself is a step forward as now I can live the rest of my life without the fear of death marring my life. This in the past has been a big issue in my life as the fear my my life darker and more fearful but now it is realise to finally live my life.

So now another battle has to be fought to find a way I can work around the constant fatigue and start to move my life forward to a point where I can finally control its direction free from the distractions from people and events which frankly will become unimportant in my future. I need to surround myself with people who are more open minded, creative and imaginative and turn my back on those people who cannot move forward and have closed minds. I need to do this so I can grow as a person and turn my current situation in to positive thing.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

In the end today has been stressful day as I finally got around to taking my current ISP to task over the current performance of my Broadband. It is one of those situations when all diagnostics indicated the broadband is fine but it is most definitely not as if a large amount of data goes down the broadband it slows down to a point that likes of World of Warcraft becomes unplayable.

So I expected a difficult call to the ISP and I was not disappointed as I got the impression from them as their diagnostics indicated no issues they were not prepared to listen to me with the effect I had to end the call because it has started to stress me out too much. But I did make sure they called me back so I can put in an official complaint about them not listening to what I said and taking our issues seriously.

I was getting stressed out as they were refusing to look into the issue because they believed everything was right at our end and tried to blame our equipment our end. An argument which frankly holds no water as nothing has changed here since the issues started. Tat is before all this sorry affair started our broadband functioned with no issues and World of Warcraft was playable.

I have not told them yet I am going through the stress of Tumour and resulting Chemotherapy as I will drop this bombshell once it has be sorted to my satisfaction at which point they will be scolded for putting me through hell at a difficult time of my life.

It not a battle I wanted to fight but after my treatment at work it is a battle I am going to fight and win. It sort of reflects my life as I am too much of a nice guy which others take an advantage of which usually means I get the worse end of the stick a large majority of the time. I am not saying that being a nice guy is a bad thing but too many people abuse this fact for their own ends and to the disadvantage of a nice guy.

Frankly I am fed up of it with those around me who use underhand tactics of guilt trips to get me to do things. It really does not do my mental health any good and undermines my own self-confidence and self-image.

At the moment I feel tearful and down because of today as call to ISP has taken a lot out of me both physically and emotionally. I really do not want to go to work tomorrow because of all the stress at work most of which I have no real control over and in the large number of cases are unnecessary and could of been avoided if people put their minds to it.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

Another weeks starts with the constant battle against my Chemotherapy making feel ill and getting me down because of its effects it is having on me both physically and mentally. Also a battle with those around me who see someone who is well on the outside who needs understanding about their situation not sympathy as they seam to think. Frankly sympathy does little to improve my situation but understanding helps as it eases it as it highlights why I need some leeway in my everyday activities.

This last part is a battle I do not want to fight as I cannot afford the energy and time wasted on things which frankly people should know already. But as always fear of my situation clouds their reactions to my situation. Much like mental health, cancer is simply not talked about because people still think they can catch it if they talk about it. I find this attitude disturbing and saddening as by avoiding and not talking about these subjects makes people’s situations worse on both sides.

There I am expecting adult and mature reactions from people around me as just because I have had to accepted my situation and facing up to it the best I can. I have to telling myself not every is like myself and each person reacts differently to my situation. It is a fault of mine as if I can cope I question just why other people cannot cope?

This is going to be a constant theme of my life from now on coping with every scare my tumour will or could throw at me and not allowing it to blight what I have left of my life. At some points like now I will become obsessed with my situation and health especially when I am going through treatment to stop my tumour coming back. It is something which is perfectly natural and all part of being a Human Being.

One positive thing is that all through this I am getting stronger mentally and coping remarkably well considering this time last year I could of bled to death if my partner had not bullied me to go to Hospital. I now worry less about death and worry more about not living a life a change of attitude which bodes well for my future. Each day I amaze myself the fact I am alive and still functioning.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

I am recovering from another long week at work at which I pushed myself once again to the limit all because of guilt trips put on my by those who really know better. Myself it has been a stressful week at work all caused by those not being strong enough to tell people no hence backing themselves into a difficult position. What really annoyed me I and others are expected to fill the gap of their own making without complaining.

All made worse by constant lack of real understanding of my position especially with the fact that when I have the energy I look well and feel good bar a few twinges around my scar and stomach. All not surprising considering the trauma of the operation. All made sightly worse as one person in question will find themselves in a potentially worse position as they get older because of a condition which will go away unlike my own which has real possibility of never returning.

I suspect it is done out of fear and ignorance of what I am going through because I have Tumour something closely related to a Cancer. It is as if if they treat me as normal or push me in attempt to get me to leave they will not catch my Cancer or have to face the fact that they themselves or someone near them will have a Cancer.

It reflects our new modern world in which people do not face their fears or difficult situations and try to push away or ignore those responsible for creating said situations. It is a sad state of affairs and we wonder why our world has stopped moving forward. After recent events in my life I have come to the conclusion it really is not healthy situation to be in as nothing will be resolved and the issues will get worse.

In the end if those around me keep doing on this course of actions it will mean I will just walk away from them as frankly I really do not want to work with or associate with people who hide from their fears and problems as it will not help me. Currently I need to face up and discuss my problems as I do not get the luxury to ignore them as by doing so will reduce the time I have on this Earth.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

My scar today reminded me that it was still there as I have managed to make it sore by lifting a Television at work as really stupid thing to do even now. So now when I touch a part of it it is sore which is a reminder that I need to slow down and a second such warning over the past few months. But as always I am finding it difficult to slow down at work because of the pressure put on me by those around me, some what unfairly, to keep going at my old speed.

I should finally take onboard the warning as the next time I may not be so lucky with the real possibility that I will end up in Hospital. But it is how I break it to my managers that I need to take things even easier in the future without turning a uninteresting job into a really boring job which in the end will make me even worse mentally.

At the moment I really need to start to put some serious thought into finding a better balance between my work and life as at the moment work is taking up too much of my energy leaving me nothing for life outside of work. It is not healthy place to be for me at the moment as the tumour has reminded me that my time on Earth is limited and I should not waste it on things which frankly bring little real colour and quality to my life.

It would be better for me to to go out of this life with a bang rather than with a whimper after all I also have to contemplate the dark side of my situation as there is always a possibility things could go wrong over the next few years. Some people will find what I just said a bit grim but I also need to be both realistic and optimistic about my current situation.

But as always I have to fight myself and my fatigue to move on which currently is an uphill battle as always.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

What has become very clear with the first talk to the Phycologist is that I need a job which stretches my intellect something my current job simply does not do. It is no wonder I come home and do nothing as through the past few years my job has made me lazy intellectually. It has got me into some very lazy thought patterns and certainly put me into a rut which currently I cannot get out of.

Before the tumour I always made excuses not to change because I had become lazy but now this has been made worse by the constant fatigue of the Chemotherapy which gives me even a better excuse not do anything. Currently I am my own worse enemy using every excuse not to move on when I really need to.

I really hope talking through with the Phycologist and the tumour will once again get me fired up to start to do things again and move on. As currently I am feeling myself close up to the world around me that is not wanting to do anything or talk to people. In the end I will be back to the pointless life I lead before I did something about my depression.

I should start to look at the tumour as a wake up call as it reminded that I am mortal and I only have one life to live and I need to stop wallowing in my own self pity and self destruction of what I am and cold be.

But the fear of life and failure I had at my height of my depression is back something I thought I had beaten but I allowed it back into my life not helped by a world which now feeds off such things.

I know what is wrong but I at the moment do not want to ask for the much needed help I need now!

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

Today is one of those days when the Summer Blues hits the household as outside is a rainy Summer day. It is a fine example of a Summer Day here in the United Kingdom as once again after a heatwave our Summer returns to it’s usual series of rainy days. Though Global Warming will not mean warmer weather here but it seams we will be blessed with wetter Summers and warmer Winters.

This of cause the Global Warming our illustrious leaders both here in the United Kingdom and the United States is a myth created by scientists to destroy their precious fossil fuel Industries which fun their governments. But I am digressing here as it something best discussed elsewhere.

I have abandoned today because of the rain outside and because we have enough food in the house so I do not have to venture into the rainy world outside a small relief my end. So like yesterday I will spend it doing few chores and writing my journal.

Though it does mean I have little too much time to think about things and my current situation but enough time to rest before another gruelling week at work. Yet another chore I need to endure so I can pay the bills and live comfortably even on minimum wages. I still have to have ask for help but as always my pride gets in the way as I see it as a failure. Sadly I have been taught well by my parents to be very self-reliant sometimes a cross I have to bare.

Work is still fun with certain unresolved issues still to be faced and educating them that there is no real way I can push myself too far as I will not improve physically if anything it may make my situation worse. But as always they see someone who looks well forgetting that I am fighting the tumours return and keep myself healthy.

I also need to emphases to them that my battle against my cancer is unique to me regardless they know someone else who has had fought the same battle. All this will be an uphill battle as most of the people around me tend to be very set in their ways and thinking.

Work and where I live is a microcosm of the state of the United Kingdom currently in so much people are very insular for too concerned with themselves to care about their own society and environment around them. This all regardless of the fact they need both to exist healthily both physically and mentally but people now rarely look beyond their own noses and turn a blind eye to world around them ignoring both what is good and bad about it.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

My journey through the Chemotherapy still is continuing but it is taking a lot out of me at the moment not helped by work not fully understanding what I am going through. All they see is someone who looks well and fighting fit and miss the fact that in effort to fight tumour the Chemotherapy is poisoning my body.

Though not helped by the fact I am putting on a brave face to the world and talking down the issues I am going through but it is the only way I can cope with the situation without falling apart. But what I am finding that it is mostly likely I did not need to do this as remarkably I am coping with it better than I thought.

I finally got to see the Psychologist last week which should mean I will get much needed help with issues around my tumour and help with coping with the constant fatigue. It may of only been first appointment but it seams I do have some things to sort out the main ones being the fact I still cannot reconcile the fact people I trusted spent over a year watching me dying saying noting before my tumour was diagnosed. The other being to find a way to balance my work and leisure time as work is taking up too much of my time at a time I should be living not working.

One thing that did come out of it that everyone’s fight with cancer is personal and unique and just because someone knows someone who has fought cancer they cannot assume they know what I am going through. But as always people always use their own experiences to understand what someone is going through they seam to get it wrong. It makes my battle worse rather than easier as their preconceptions get in the way of their understanding.

So now once again I am trying to move on and live once again rather than feel broken because of the tumour.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

Last week I got good news that my first 6 month CT scan was clear and the tumour I had removed October last year has not returned. Though I still have 2½ years of Chemotherapy to go before I am sure that my tumour has finally gone. But at least things look hopeful and makes the constant fatigue and lack of stamina caused by the Chemotherapy all worth it.

It sort of gives me hope for the future though I am still fighting the urge just to give up because of the tumour itself. After all when I finally started the Chemotherapy the whole effect the tumour could have had on my life hit home big time. It is something I cannot get out of my head and it is making it difficult to be to move and make plans for the future.

I have finally the Phycologist help I need at the end of next month so hopefully can got through the barriers the tumour has put up against myself not moving on or seeing that I have a real future. At the moment it really feels like my life is standing still with the tumour really colouring my view of my world around me.

What does not help is the fact the constant fatigue of the Chemotherapy is getting me down as I ware myself at work so I do not have energy to do anything outside of work. I am trapped in a job which just pays enough to live but I have to work over 30 hours a week to get it so I cannot cut down my hours without causing major financial issues at home. It is my own catch 22 which at the moment I see no way out.

My work/life balance has gone for a Burton at a point I need to be more focused on my life and getting better. It not a real life for me at the moment but an existence which serves everyone else but myself.

I am going to have to really think what I want to do as this cannot continue as it is likely to make me ill again.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

The chemotherapy is currently taking a lot out of me at the moment as after a normal days work all I want to do is sleep and certainly do not want to interact with anyone including me partner. It is one of those weeks again wondering if it all worth it both the chemotherapy and work as only one is doing good while the other is starting to effect my life is a very adverse way. I will leave my readers to figure out which one.

Someone highlighted to me just how ignorant some people are about cancers and tumours and their treatment. This person seriously said to me that drinking alcohol was more dangerous than the tablet Chemotherapy I am taking!

I suspect they really did not think through what they said or understand what they said to me I could have been taken real as a offence to. It is lucky for them at the time I let it pass thought I suspect others would have been so forgiving.

The truth of the matter the drug I am taking for my Chemotherapy could be far more harmful than alcohol could ever be. Unlike alcohol I need to go to hospital at least twice a month one to check my physical condition and one to talk to my Oncologist. This is because the drug in question could cause organ failure in extreme cases, anaemia, bleeding just to name a few side effects.

I suspect they made the remark because I have played down the whole effect of the tumour and its treatment not understanding I did this so I could cope with the whole situation. If I had not done so I would not of coped with the whole situation so well.

All in all what has come out over the past month is the real ignorance, understanding a fear of my current situation by those people around me. They do not like to talk about it as it feels to myself they believe if they talk about it they may catch a cancer or tumour. I find this whole attitude both childish and cowardly. Cancer much like Mental Illness need to be discussed more as people need to face it as it is highly likely know someone who will go through these conditions.

I know they are both very scary, cancer more so, but people need to be aware of them and the fact both are not real bugbears people think they are and you cannot catch them by talking about them. Plus it will make things easier for those suffering and those who have to look after them as they will not feel so isolated and ostracised from society in general.

If people around me ware far more knowledgeable, open and less fearful, it would make me coping with my current treatment so much better and easier.

I know this is a bit of a rant and rambling but I had to say something.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

So far it has been a peaceful Sunday the only day I have off in 11 days run of shifts at work. Sometimes you wonder if human being actually run companies any more as managers seam not to understand that people have lives outside of work. One of other things which need to be changed in our modern world the work and life balance as everyone knows this is very important to our well-being but too blinded by profits and greed to do anything about it.

So I am taking full advantage of the day off to wind down from unnecessary stresses at work and enjoy the lovely day outside. Though taking stuff to the dump is a strange way to enjoy a day but it is very relaxing throwing stuff away watching crash into skips. The rest of the day I am going to spend writing eating and reading trying to forget the world outside.

It is one of those days when doing little will do me a world of good.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to Freinds by Gas Light!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my on-line scrapbook just follow the link to The Aethernaut’s Halt.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.