Journal of a Lost Soul Part DXXXV

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A fun day ahead with ourselves taking our one dog, Kali, to the vets to get her nails clipped. It gets us out of the house even if outside is very damp as the weather has decided to turn for worse as outside is damp.

At least other than a quick trip to the shops we can hide inside the house and avoid the outside world so it can do it worse until tomorrow. It will mean I can catch up on chores and do a little more on my own version of 13th Age world map which I managed to start yesterday. It was nice to start to draw a map again even if it is my version of an existing map which I can modify to fit my needs which hopefully make running 13th Age easier.

What a wonderful life I lead in so much most of the time it seems so mundane to most people though not helped much of my hobbies tend to involve either sitting in front of a laptop or blank sheet of paper and a pen rather than being something physical everyone sees. Though hopefully people read or encounter the results of my work elsewhere even here in this journal.

So life keeps going on it meandering path though this year is still showing a great promise of change for the better for myself, partner and other people around me.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part DXXXIV

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This week has slowly flown by with hardly a thought about work and all the issues that go with it. I am started to chill out and relax which nice upside I know I need to do things but not overly worried about things. It has meant I have got around to writing again both here on my journal and elsewhere though I still have to get around to doing something about my web sites which are long overdue change and revamping.

I am still working slowly on my own version of the 13th Age role-playing world modified to suit my style of running role-playing games plus just for the enjoyment of creating a new background from the tools given to me by 13th Age. It is certainly relaxing me in so much it makes me feel as if I am doing something and being creative rather than just feeling I am wasting my life away.

Though currently I have a focus for all this work as I have decided to go to sort of local role-playing group in two weeks time something which is long overdue and in the hope it finally breaks the cycle of myself wanting to stay at home avoiding the world. I am quite looking forward to it though due to my depression I am also really not wanting to do it as it feels like hard work. Welcome to the fun of depression which likes to make its life easier and mine harder!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part DXXXIII

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In the end today has been a good day as I have managed to get some writing done though I did not do as many chores as I would of liked but there is over a week of the holiday to go. It has shown just how much my work takes out of me both mentally and physically to a point it has started to eat into my life in a very detrimental way.

In the next weeks I need to really think about my future as this situation cannot continue any more as not being creative or productive outside of work is starting to kill me mentally turning me into the very thing I really do not want to be a sheep who just lives for work without a life.

So now I have to start to fight back to regain my life again which will be actually going to a Role-Playing Club near by so I can get back to role-playing again and start rebuild a social life again which is long overdue.

So this week and next I am going to take advantage and get some real writing done all long overdue and very good to my general well being.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part DXXXII

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Another day relaxing taking full advantage of the holiday from work and already work is but a distant memory of annoying times and on going hassles. Though it does look like I will have go to the Doctors with the issue in my shoulder as now I am getting two tingly fingers which is a little worrying.

It is going to be a couple of weeks catching up with the chores which have been long overdue and also catching up on some reading and writing. Though currently it is getting the confidence to start writing again which has been lost due to my issues with depression over the previous year due to work.

Once again I have to fight my depression in so much stop it taking away my creative side again and robbing me of the enthusiasm to do something more than just wasting my time on the internet generally doing nothing but getting angry with a world which currently I can do little about.

Though the fact I am back to writing this journal entry does indicate that my creative side is alive and kicking if only in short bursts!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part DXXXI

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Finally my post peek holiday has arrived a bit later than I wanted and against all odds as someone at work cheekily booked holidays at the same time as myself. The people in question have grown used to getting things when they want at the expense of everyone else. For those who do not know what peek is it is the Christmas and New Year which is busy time of year for me at work which is a doubly stressful time of year for me.

I have two weeks off which I will spend at home catching up the household chores which have been sadly missed over peek on top of which I aim to catch up on long over due reading and writing. I will also take the opportunity to start work on my new set of web sites especially now the usefulness of about.me has ended due to a poor upgrade to their web site. Hopefully the next few weeks I can lay down the foundations for the new web sites.

One thing I will try my hardest is not to worry about work and all the hassle that goes with it but I will have to do some things which will feel like work but all long overdue. So in the end I will have other things to worry about other than work which will be nice change.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part DXXX

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One one more day of a 6 day run of shifts to go at work and other than feeling tired I do not feel too bad as I am getting used to being more active at work. When I was working on the Tech Desk I did a lot of standing around and talking but very little real physical work.

Though it does have a negative side as I have managed to pull a muscle in my shoulder which still has not gone a month later all because I keep pushing myself too much and forgetting I am not 20 any more. It joins the rest of the ache and pains I have gained as I grow older which constantly reminds me I am growing older.

Outside of work life is still going on with it usual round of problems with power companies screwing up their bills even after giving them the correct readings but at least now I only see it as yet another issue to deal with rather than a major crisis as last year.

On top of which the run of luck here for both of us is still going on though in small ways which certainly make life easier even fun at times. Though a better attitude to life in genera here certainly helping everyone here even our dogs who are far more settled this year.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part DXXIX

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I have been quiet for the last week as work has been busy and I have been very quiet after my birthday with little to say. It is not because I am giving up or not angry just because I have not felt in the mood or been awake enough to actually sit in front of my laptop to actually write.

Though what not has helped is I brought myself a new role-playing game set of rules called 13th Age which is an interesting set of fantasy role-playing rules based on the more traditional Advanced Dungeon and Dragons with few interesting twists. It is certainly a playable system but as it does warn both game masters and players it is for the more experienced role-players. I think I like to run 13th Age though I will have to do a little modification to the rules to suit my style of play which it certainly will allow me to do so.

Though what has not helped here is the onset of Winter which always makes me constantly tired and lethargic because of the long dark and cold evenings. It is as if I go into hibernation most Winter evenings which is not helped with myself constantly wanting to sleep. It is definitely that time of year I mark time until Spring when the weather gets warm again and I feel much better in general. Though at least this year I am not feel down about the world around me because of the weather just cold and little fed up of it.

It does look like this year will continue in it’s more upbeat mood even issues do not seam as daunting or problematic as last year and just things either to be solved or lived with when I cannot do anything about them.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

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