Once again I have 2 weeks off work which will be much needed currently and it will answer a question if a number of physical symptoms, including headache and stomach issues, are connected directly with work itself. I suspect they are as less than 2 days way from work these symptoms are already reducing the detrimental effect they were having on my life.

It does point to the fact I need to change my job sooner than later as such symptoms eventually will have a very detrimental effect on my quality of life even lead to more unpleasant illnesses. Though as always it is getting the motivation to get things done as per usual.

I have also this week really need to start the preparations for the restarting of my Vampire: The Masquerade Chronicle and next one-off game for another local role-playing game. Hopefully without the negative distracted of work I can finally get started and move things forward for once rather than wallowing in my self pity caused by work.

As always I am fighting myself and lack of motivation which always seam to win currently!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

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One of those days when it has taken nearly all day to start to feel human again and almost feel like writing again. This was after an evening that I felt so terrible that I spent most of the evening fast asleep because I felt like the world had collapsed on me like a tonne of bricks.

All this after two days work which should not of had this effect on me at all but it seams my current job is having this effect on me. In addition it seams to be draining away what makes up me, my imagination even creativity because it is simply not inspiring enough for me.

If I did not need the job to pay my bills I would of walked out of the job ages ago so I could have the energy again to look for a new job free from constant feeling tired and disinterested with life in general. It is sort of a catch 22 situation which most people find themselves.

One of those days when you start to wonder being part of a rat race is really worth the effort as it really does not give back the quality of life it claims but destroys people lives to service a few parasites on the top.

It is one of those times when depression is a useful thing to have because it does mean I have the strength of will to continue in a world I really have not real connection too any more.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

With only 3 shifts to go before I have another two weeks off from work which I am looking forward too as I need the time to rest and rethink what I am doing with my life as it currently feels like it is going nowhere at high speed.

All not helped by myself feeling constantly feeling ill currently which is likely because I am feeling down and trapped in a life I really do not have any interest in currently. Though this time of year with winter ending I always feel bit down and under the weather. I have the faint hope that I start to feel better as Spring starts to arrive.

Once again it is dam difficult for me to get back to writing as the constant feeling ill sort of not good place to be creative as if anything it makes me sorry for myself rather than creative as I need to be. I have a lot to do ahead but no enthusiasm to do it.

Once again I sound down with life which is never a good place to be with things which will make my life better just out of reach!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

With all the darkness which surround us in our modern world and it’s crushing effect it is having on people including myself, it is nice there is something positive out there even for me. Last night I finally got back to running Role-Playing games again after a few months lay off due to the fact I have not been well in my self and the distraction of Christmas.

I was worried about last night as I was running a one-off Kult rpg game as bot a test of the system and if I could run a pre-written game effectively. Plus the fact I have not run a role-playing game for months and I was still under the weather due to work, that being another story.

In the end I needed not to worried as I had not lost my old magic running a role-playing game which entertains and enthrals the players who all enjoyed the game I ran last night. Though what did come clear I have become a very free-form role-player game master/storyteller who only uses to rules very sparingly and allows the story to take the for front of the role-playing game.

It looks like that my idea to create a role-playing group centred around storyteller games will in the end suit me down to the ground and allow me to perfect my art of storytelling especially through role-playing games. It has spurned me on to get the new group I am setting up off the ground.

So after a few months of darkness around me which still continues there is a light at the end of the tunnel and at the moment is having strength to continue towards the light at the end of the tunnel.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

Just starting wonder when the large majority of Leave Voters here in the United Kingdom actually join the rest of us in the real world?

I still love the fact they still falling for the lies of the Leave Campaign and they still hold on to out dated views like Patriotism and Nationalism.

I especially love the fact they still think we have an Empire and still a super power with enough clout to actually force people to trade with us as in the good old long gone days.

More and more I listen to them the more I am coming to the conclusion they are becoming irrelevances in our modern world as in the end they will be left behind when the world starts to move forward again.

I have stopped feeling sorry for them and I am listening to them less and less as all they say is irrelevant now in a modern Britain!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

It is becoming that time of year as things start to wake up for Spring I start to evaluate the direction my life is taking though currently I am not totally happy of its direction. Some things are starting to come together especially with my Role-Playing group I am trying set up while other things like work are not going so well if anything stagnating in sea of boredom and indifference.

Not helped by some at work expecting me to cross the line of my personal morals which has caused me major anxiety over the past few months to a point that I had to be on tablets to cope with it. I have to start to question why am I doing a job which routinely expects people to cross their moral codes which I will not go into here but all I will say the actions are very questionable morally.

This really seams to reflect the modern United Kingdom after Brexit when people have started to think behaviours for example lying and discriminating against those who for not fault of their own cannot support themselves in society are acceptable. This I am slowly finding more distasteful as this at a total variance how I was brought up by parents who taught me to be honest and tolerant of people. I am now wondering how I can distance myself from the society we are creating in the United Kingdom which includes how can I leave the United Kingdom forever.

I am amazed currently with all what is going on I am keeping together but barely!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.

At some point I will restart a life which has simply stalled in a dark place of self doubt and fear. It really looks like I have a case of winter blues happier to wallow in my self pity than actually get up and do something creative.

Currently feels like I am on the edge of doing something constructive but too tired mentally to actually to knuckle down and start. It is as if fear of failure is holding me back rather using the fear to give me the motivation to get things done to prove it wrong.

This current state of myself is simply not the old me but a poor imitation of the old me who is once again frustrated wit the world. All my own fault that I am in this place not anyone else’s and it will have to be myself who has to drag myself out of this dark place again into the light.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal miscellany of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to The Abode of The Steam Powered Story Teller.

Please Note: If you are interested in my new venture a local role-playing group specialising in story telling systems just follow the link to The Enlightened Company of Role-Players of Stafford.