This is now one of my rare visits to my journal currently as a combination of my role-playing and my laptop dying in the past month means I do not sit in front of the computer as much nowadays. This sort of reflects the mixed fortunes of the past few months though they have not been bad they have made things a series of battles to be fraught and won. As always it is way my life seams to go all the time.
The laptop can be easily fixed but as always it is finding the money and time to do it as so many other things are competing for both currently.
Though my life sounds bad on the whole it is really not because of the Role-Playing which I seam to have relearnt the art of storytelling again though I still have to regain the confidence within myself that I can actually run a lot more type of games than I can actually think I can.
But like all story writers I am constantly racked by self-doubt that I can actually do what I am doing in the role-playing game and the constant frustration of thinking up unique or interesting stories which will enthral my players in my role-playing game.
I do really need to start reading seriously again to get my imagination and creativity working again as the past 10 years of my job really have not helped either because it is not exactly taxing on my imagination or creativity. Though it has taught me to be more sociable and talk to people again.
Talking of the job I have been given an opportunity to change my role at work which I may take even though it will drive me mad because if I continue in my current role it may start to have a very detrimental effect on my depression and anxiety. It is not that I dislike my current role at work but there are things which will happen around me which will start to effect me in a very detrimental way.
Add to this another change of role may bring something lacking in my job something different and new to do in a new store. It may even give me an opportunity to change things outside of work.
All in all it has been a mixed few months and I am still here even if I am much the same inside.
Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.
Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.