Bee in My Bonnet!

Posted: 29 July, 2014 in Comment, depression, Life

At the moment I have a real bee in my bonnet over my creativity or lack of it.

I suspect it is part of my recovery from my current down and part of me I think has always been a part of me and my personality something which in my teenage years was drummed out of me by those people around me who far from encouraged it if anything helped to suppress it by making me feel so small for just having a creative streak.

I know this really sounds like I am blaming everyone else for destruction of my creativity but I am not as such but I am saying those around me coloured my self image and esteem so badly it has always coloured my life.

Plus what I am not saying I am good or fantastic at being creative and I certainly do not have an overblown blown up sense of my creativity but what I have is a need to be creative be it in a Role-Playing Game, drawing maps even writing computer code to create something even if it a piece of software.

But one thing I have learnt as I have gone through fighting my depression a lot about myself and how I work inside. One thing which has come out is I love to be creative even if what I produce is not world class but the process of being creative gives much pleasure.

I forgive those who in my early days tried to suppress me because they feared me because I always seamed to follow my own path as in the end they did not succeed as what everyone would call my twilight I am finding my creativity and the joy of it again.

I don’t think it is ever too late to find myself again along with my creativity as it would have been worse if I allowed myself to fall back in to my depression and done nothing about it!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.


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