It is amazing what a more positive attitude will achieve especially at work after over a year of feeling really down about work and people there over last two weeks everything has changed for the better. I have managed for the first time in months to actually get a self imposed target set for money collected over the Tech desk at work and highly likely to do it again this month regardless that it is peek or not.
I know why this attitude change has occurred as the anti-depressants have finally started to work and stabilise my moods though the current set of anti-depressant does have one emotional side effect of suppressing my emotion little too well but something which I can learn to live with over time.
Though there is also another reason why I am doing this at work is to prove myself and a colleague at work as a team can actually do our jobs better than other senior colleagues and to prove a point we can run a Tech Desk which can draw in some real money as it used to do without compromising customer service, with integrity and professionalism!
Now it is a matter of transplanting this positive attitude to home where it will work wonders when we move and might actually mean I get long over due projects at home both on the computer and role-playing.
We are still waiting for the move now I cannot wait as it will be much needed restart of our lives and I see a wonderful future ahead for us both and our dogs here now. Something I really have not felt like for years and really shows the negative effect my depression had on my life in general.
I have to get used to being generally happy, settled and generally positive again though I will still have bad days from now on just fewer of them.
Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal journal of mine just follow the link to Acta Spiritu Amisso.