This week has been a week of extremes for me here with a massive down midweek which laid me so low I was physically and mentally to ill to work one day this week. As always it is usual problem of not enough money to live, my life going nowhere at the moment to partner who depression is also reach a low this week.
All this triggered by small things which includes the worry of buying a new car, not having enough money to pay for winter heating bills and finally the bank sending information about overdraft charges with their bank statement. All very small things but this week they were enough to trigger my depression off all of which can be easily solved by putting my mind to things.
But as always my depression robs me of the get up and go required to do anything which makes it worse. Depression is it’s own precursor in so much it can feed itself and by itself makes someone’s position worse. Half the art of fighting depression is finding a way of breaking this vicious circle.
In the end we both survived the big down and now still paying for the price for it with a strange feeling of calm and detachment from the world around us while myself I am paying the price in a more physical way with problem with my bad leg and hip. Not surprising really as depression has a nasty habit of causing the body to be in constant fight and fight mode putting an unnecessary stress on the body as a whole.
So now it process of rebuild ourselves again back to a normality and actually moving our lives forward again as this week has not been all bad in the end. There is a possibility we could be moving house into the next town which will mean I’m nearer my work, a cheaper house to run and my partner will not be stuck in the middle of back and beyond. All of these will mean a much needed new start we both need at the moment which should be enough to kick start our lives again.
So in the end it has been a mixed week but ended up with some hope for the future.