Journal of a Lost Soul Part CCLXXVI

Posted: 17 March, 2013 in Journal, Life

One of those weeks where my demon has coloured my life is a dark way in so much it has both robbed me of my general enthusiasm and my belief in myself to a point all I want to do is sit on the settee and do nothing!

This currently so frustrating as I have so much I need to do but cannot because I feel so useless and really not know how to start when I really know and should be looking forward to actually doing something different and even exciting. Especially the fact I will be buying a new car which should be fun as I get to spend money something I do so rarely now.

I know what I need to do but cannot start as I always mind an excuse not to start and if this carries on sadly it will be time to either go back on to the anti-depressants or do something very dramatic to change my life so I am forced to do something.

Also what is extremely worrying that some of dark thoughts and physical problems which are associated with my depression are back creeping back into my life again largely unnoticed by myself but they are there.

All this week has not been bad or frustrating as I completed the series of modifications to my personal web page which have gone down well with friends of mine on-line. I loved some of the comments which included cool and unique which the unique part is exactly what I was aiming for at least it will be memorable. Now I am waiting for more inspiration to hit what to do next to the web site but at least it is in a working state and looks good now.


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