Journal of a Lost Soul Part CCLXX

Posted: 9 February, 2013 in Journal, Life

It has been a long week mainly because as per usual I am worrying over trivial matters which I have little and on control over at the moment but it has made me feel constantly tired. It is always difficult for someone with depression not to worry over small thing as the depression almost makes a habit hard to break. But as always comes down to lot of hard thinking and will power to put things in perspective.

Taking a certain Manager at work as an example whose actions not only affects me or others in a very negative way but you have to balance this with the fact that their actions have stalled their career so their influence within the company is a minimum now. So in the short term they my effect but in the long term they really count for nothing in the big scheme of things. So by myself making a big problem of the said person is a case of making a mountain out of a mole hill they truly have little effect on me and my job.

Now it is a matter of convincing my own mind that these things are really unimportant so I can start to focus on moving on rather than wallowing in a place which is very self destructive. I know it sounds odd but if you have depression you will understand the battle between your inner and outer parts of your own mind as sometimes you really feel like to different people inside your own mind.
It has not all been bad as this week I have started the creation of two Role-Playing Campaigns one for CthulhuTech and Unknown Armies which has finally focused me on something very positive. This has already had an effect along with leaving Facebook in so much it has reduced my constant moaning and focusing on trivial matters much to my partners relief.

I am also making the creation of these Role-Playing Campaigns public on True-Friends social web site all in an effort I will complete them to a usable point as in the past I have had a nasty habit of starting something and not finishing it. Plus it is always nice to have audience when I am creating something.

All in all this week has not been bad week but as always blighted by trivial annoyances.


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