All good things come to end as this weekend is my last before I go back to work on Monday morning. Strangely going back to work is really not having much effect on me but going back to the usual group of people at work fills me with a dread because of the personal politics and interactions between the people there is starting to bore me and frustrate me because nothing changes. It is as if the people around me have trapped themselves into routine of self destruction and making sure everyone else has to go with them if they want to go or not!
This along with other factors it is having an adverse effect on my depression and mental health in general made worse I have little real control over it other than point out their behaviours at work is potentially making me ill. It shows in a obsessive thinking of an Assistant Manager who frankly has little real power over me at work or career as he has stalled his own career because of his own attitude and inflexibility.
I do not want to really go back onto the Anti-Depressants but I may have no choice in the matter to ride through current problems and to keep them in perspective. Depending on which Doctor I get I am supposed to live on Anti-Depressants to keep control of my moods but frankly I have only needed them to cope with most stressful parts of my life. What it does show I certainly have more of a measure of my depression than my local GPs who seam woefully ignorant of mental health problems!
On a more positive side I have enjoyed two weeks at home with my partner and dogs both of which have enjoyed the fact I’ve been at home all week. On top of which we have started the Spring Cleans and discovered that our diet does have a profound effect on our general well-being. Now I have fun weekend ahead which I intend to enjoy regardless.