Today has started with myself feeling angry with the world inside which is good sign that I am getting very frustrated with myself with the constant feeling tired and lethargic all the time. Add to this I am getting too focused once again on things and people who frankly have no real influence on my life other than make me unnecessary angry.
Add to this heady mixture the constant battle with myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and general negative feelings which are currently crippling me doing anything effective to change things. It’s the old catch 22 as currently I know things need to change but I always put it off to tomorrow as I think what is the point.
In the end I am my own worse enemy and I do have the power to change my life but as always I am too lazy to do so because of my frame of mind.
Though not everything is bad in my life as over last year I have grown to love our dogs here who keep me sane and make our home. Add to this my knowledge of Linux and it’s set up has come on lap and bounds with myself thinking what to do next with a rare enthusiasm which I have not had since when I started working with computers.
I think it is a matter of surviving the next few months of winter fighting the negative feeling Winter always gives me something which sadly runs in the male side of my family.