Journal of a Lost Soul Part CDVIII

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Today has been the sort of day I needed away from people writing blog entries which have put the worlds to right sort of thing I have to do every few while. Though it is not surprising I wanted a day way from people writing as after previous few weeks some people around me have managed to fire of my depression with their actions some of which were very unthinking.

Though I still feel strangely unsatisfied about today as it feels like I have achieved nothing even been creative regardless of the fact I have written blog entries. It wonderful just how my depression robs me of any satisfaction gained from any creative endeavours I do but I keep fighting the feeling and slowly winning.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CDVII

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Last few days have not been the best for me regardless that something around me are going better around me in so much we got some old computer hardware which we can use for new computers here. I know this sounds trivial to anyone else but people who know me will know it is a big thing for both of us here.

But inside my own head currently feels like the world around me is shattering and becoming distance from me again because of certain things which have occurred around me which I will not go into here which have meant I feel alone inside again.

I know this sounds very negative but as always I will have good and bad days as I come out of a down caused by my depression and this weekend was one of those times when I went through a minor down.

On a more positive note we have found a group here who walk their dogs as a group on a field next to the castle in my home town which has meant both ourselves and dogs now get some social contact with people with people locally even if it is for a few hours every few while. This will help both myself, partner and dogs as we all get some social contact and start to feel generally better in ourselves. In my case add yet another connection to the world around me so I do not fall inside myself again and allow the depression to take me over again.

As for work it just goes on it’s merry way with the people shooting themselves in the feet in various spectacular ways and speeding towards a precipice in total ignorance. But that reflects our modem world of work and life in which people constantly avoid issues and rocking the boat regardless!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CDVI

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It has been one of those weekends when thing have both gone well and bad which generally made me sensitive about things especially within Second Life for some strange reason. I suspect even on my anti-depressants my depression has been playing up this weekend as always for no real reason other than it can.

But as always this is my life with my depression a roller coaster of up and downs with strange twist and turns but at least things are still going in the right direction. Though what does not help is constant issues at work caused by people’s actions especially those to with pettiness of politics which is causing more issues for myself and others at work.

Now here starts another battle with myself to make sure work stops dominating my life totally as like the height of my depression because it always ends up with me living for my work rather than having a healthy social life. As always it going to be small steps which include finding a small group of role-players locally.

Strangely I have not been in the mood to be creative this week but unlike before this now does not worry me or frustrate me as now I realise it is perfectly normal these thing happen.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CDV

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Last two days at work have been busy to a point that I almost wanted to walk out of the job as it really not worth the minimum wage they are paying me. Then I thought the store where I work lost myself and three others they have no one, I mean no one, trained to run a Tech Desk, deal with customer issues and returns. Just show how narrowly trained the new people who work for the store now which is to the detriment to the store itself. It’s only going to take one more of these four people to go and they will be in trouble big time!

But as always in our modern times companies cut their own throats in an effort to make as much profit with as little personal as possible. Though as always likes of myself laugh or say I told you so when the companies go belly up.

Tonight I am having a quiet evening contemplating the last two days of a 7 day run of shifts with some relief as I can finally rest in 3 days time. Though even on that day I am busy with two Doctors/Specialist appointments but at leas the rest of the day will be mine.

Other than that my world has started to settle again outside of work mainly because I am tired and as always waiting inspiration to write something again as always. But I am learning to be patient waiting for the next strike of inspiration rather than getting frustrated about the waiting for the next strike. All part of learning to live with my depression.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CDIV

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After the hectic day yesterday and another day ahead which is going to be very busy today I am bit shell shocked and quiet as if I’ve been through a battle. But at least I am not full of doubts or anger this morning just little bored which strangely nicer than I usually feel in mornings.

At the end of today I will of achieved something at work single handed which will feel very good even if I get slightly stressed doing it only sad thing it is the start of our Christmas build up all the fun of retail. As always the only real blot on the landscape at work are the lazy people there especially one who is driving me to distraction as their laziness is directly effecting me and my work!

So this morning I am starting off with a quiet morning generally relaxing and resting before a days hard work.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CDIII

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Only 5 days to go of a 7 day run of shifts at work and it looks like I am going to survive it with my sanity intact though I cannot vouch for my mood as those lazy people at work are starting grate against my personal work ethic and standards.

But outside of work what is happening around me in the world has energised my again and got me very vocal and writing again. The writing is giving me a lot of pleasure and starting to fulfil my creative cravings I have been having over the past few weeks.

Though it has meant that I have not been doing much work on my Role-Playing background though I am waiting for inspiration to strike me again.

At the moment it nice to start feeling alive again something I have not felt in a long while!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CDII

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Much to my surprise today at work it went better than I expected which was a pleasant surprise after last week though it was hard work but rewarding as I managed to get everything I wanted done before the end of the shift. Also looking at the shifts they may be for 7 days but they are well balanced set of shift.

Outside of work tonight I have finally managed to create a poster to put up in my local Role-Playing Game shop to find a local group of role-players and get back to Role-Playing, even at my age, something I have always found fun. It has only taken me about six months of saying that I’d create the poster and it’s highly likely it will take me a similar time to remember to put it up.

But it is a small start to putting my life back together outside of work and Second Life in the hope I start to get a social life once again. As always currently it is always a small step forward!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

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