The one thing that has come out from my journey out of my depression and to a point when eventually I have learnt to truly live with it is that I have had to go through a process of discovering myself and know what makes me tick. Though the process will always will be an ongoing process as I change in the coming years.
All this is because as I have journeyed out of my longest down which has coloured most of my adult life. During this journey I have had to face my demons, my own weaknesses even accept the fact that I am lot more intelligent and talented than I think I am. This last sounds very odd to someone who has never suffered depression but it does rob you of your basic self belief.
But this journey has meant I have got to know myself, the way I think, my true dislikes and likes and finally my motivations all of which have been hidden even from myself because of my depression. These were also coloured by my anger and frustration the depression which resulted from the fact I was both closed off from the world around me and myself.
So now I can do something I should of done when I was much younger and truly discover myself and grow up intellectually in so much I have the confidence and believe in myself to hold real opinions and views of the world including political and religious.
This sounds odd when my depression was at its height I never had any opinions of my own even political because I did not have confidence or self belief and most of all I lived in fear of life itself.
Some people will say it is too late at my age to start to learn about myself and even grow up as a person but I will point out it is never too late for anyone and process which never stops our whole life. Those who think we stop growing up when we reach adulthood show a lack of understanding of life itself was we have to constantly change and grow as we go through our lives.
So now I am finally having the pleasure of getting to know myself something I am glad to finally do even at my age!
Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.
Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.
Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.