We Need More Idealists and Dreamers!

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Our modern world needs more idealists and dreamers to move forward as both my tilt at windmills or dream impossible dreams but each can bring change and new ideas from their views and dreams.

There is this modern view we should keep our feet on the ground and both idealists and dreamers waste their time but this from a stance of fear and ignorance of those who say it who have forgotten that it was idealists and dreamers who created the world around them!

If it were no for such people there would be no new ideas no change and the world, much as it is currently, will grind to a stop eventually die. They give society a spark of innovation, imagination even food for thought to move on to something new.

So the next time you put down an idealist or dreamer stop and remember it has been such people who got you were you are now!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

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The One Rule!

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Currently there is only one rule how I write and that is to write from the heart and spontaneously as ideas make themselves known in my own mind, especially the entries in this journal.

It sort of works for me but does mean sometimes the topics either jump around or worked to death on the journal but my mind has never been very focused if anything jumps from subject to subject in very quick succession.

But for me writing from the heart is working so for short time I will keep doing it.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

The Modern World Thrives on the Negative!

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From my own observations of the world through social networks on line to daily interaction of people our modern world seams to thrive on the negative be it hate, anger, discrimination and even ignorance. Everyone around me accept this as the normal state of affairs and very acceptable regardless of the fact such behaviour has never been acceptable in any civilised society in the past decades.

It is as if people do not care any more to lazy to do something about it to a point they just go along with everyone else in spreading such negative views, opinions and the such. Some are just pain stupid to believe and not question what is told them.

So now we have surrounded ourselves in a world full of hate, anger and discrimination driven by a media which feeds off it and people who are the targets of such negative thought and actions are now starting to suffer or even die because of this negativity.

And what do people do about it?

Nothing just sit there making the right noises but in the background still feed the hate, anger and discrimination which caused the deaths in the first place on top of which never taking responsibility for their own actions.

People simply find it easier to have negative and destructive thoughts in our modern world as positive thoughts would mean they would have to do something and actually be sociable to other human beings.

When the hate, anger and discrimination visits their own lives all I will say you made your own bed as you did nothing when it happened to others so why should you now expect some to lift a finger to help you?

I know this is a hard attitude but I am slowly getting fed up of large majority of the people around me because their inaction and lack of caring is killing off a once rich society leaving in place a grey shadow full of fear, hate and death!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CCCLXXXI

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Has not been the best few weeks for me as magic to life both at home and work have gone mostly because of the people around me sort of making me feel down and annoyed. This regardless of the fact that I am basically calm and contented inside.

I think the anger reflects the world we have created for ourselves which is an angry and confrontational world which those nice and relaxed people have no real place in it any more. So for me it is getting more and more difficult to exist in such a world as it constantly fires my depression even when I am on the anti-depressants.

After this week I have been feeling totally disconnected with both the world and people around to a point I really do not want to interact with it any more as both are not worth the trouble. Just means I have been feeling lost the last few days to a point all I want to do is sit around and do nothing regardless I have so much I want to do.

There is always a faint hope next week will be better!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

I am Never Going to be Happy With My Writing!

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This is odd thing to say that I am never going to be happy with my writing all because I still think that it is never going to be good enough to be taken seriously.

This feeling has it’s roots in my schools days during which no one encouraged me to write and empress myself, if anything some people, including teachers, when out of their way to discourage it with ridicule and discouraging comments. This has always coloured my life until I finally started to battle by depression.

But in the end it will always mean I will never be happy with what I write even if others say it is good as my early life has coloured my view of my writing but I will carry one just in case I finally exorcise this demon!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Being Distracted by the Trivial!

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At the moment I am being easily distracted by what I would be trivial matters including a game, social web sites and a web page almost as if I am trying to avoid or afraid of something.

It looks like my depression is working it’s evil on me denting my confidence and basic get up and go much needed to do a number of things and chores which are long overdue. It is as if my depression is finding such trivial things to stop me doing anything useful or constructive.

So now I know what it is doing time to start to find the strength inside me to not to be distracted by tribal never an easy task when my depression has it’s hold on me!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

A Need to Change or an Arrogance?

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What I about to say will most probably sound arrogant even condescending to the people that I currently surround me both at home and work but I have a need to surround myself with people who fire my imagination and my creativity as at the moment it feels like I am drowning in sea of greyness and indifference.

I am not saying the people around me are bad, or stupid but they have very little in common with me on many levels to a point I really do not make contact with them or can have a much needed conversations and discussions about a whole range of things.

Such conversations and discussions I have always found useful and very enlightening in so much they get me thinking, my imagination and creativity moving forward as I bounce ideas even extremely stupid ones. I did once have friends like that but I have moved far too many times in my recent life to put down real roots and keep in contact with people.

Though my depression has also meant I have slowly drifted away from people always thinking that no one ever wants to be a friend because of my intense, reflective and serious side, all of the things which spark my imagination and creativity within me.

But at the moment I cannot break the cycle of being among people who do not feed my imagination and creativity and find those who do. I am back to be far too self reliant and contained again because of my depression which means I am trapped inside myself screaming for those people who will feed my imagination and creativity.

As I said this sounds so arrogance but something I need to do soon just for my own sanity and peace of mind!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Robin Williams Death is a Reminder!

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The death of Robin Williams may be a very sad thing but it is also a reminder of how depression can effect it suffers and even in extreme cases the suffer feels the need to take their lives because the illness has made them feel so hopeless regardless of their circumstances that surround them.

I know there will be those out there who will say Robin Williams is both a coward and selfish because he committed suicide because of the effect his death will have on those around him but these people have totally failed to understand that depression is an illness.

That it is an illness which makes no sense to those who have never suffered it effects or had to live with it constantly. It takes so much away from the suffer even the will to live, enjoy life even to a point the suffer can look so normal and happy on the outside while full of self doubt, loathing and even hating themselves inside. It is illness which robs it’s suffer of their confidence, self esteem even lose the ability to relate to those around them.

Though it does have another side in so much it can make the person very manic, creative even funny because of the constant mental pain they suffer. This all heightened by the fact people with depression, especially when they are fighting their depression, learn far more about themselves and how their mind works because the suffer has to to learn how to control or live with their depression.

Robin Williams death is sad but as someone who also suffers depression, be it much milder, reminds me of just how a ruthless and insidious illness depression can be to it suffer.

I do not think Robin Williams was a coward or selfish committing suicide if anything it takes a lot of courage to take your life even in the fit of depression and highlights just how strong people suffering depression can be compared to those who do not. I am sad that the illness took him from us as we may of lost a man suffering inside but we also lost a comedic talent who brought both light and laughter to a world which could do with more.

As I final comment even at the height of my depression I myself thought I had nothing to live for and wanted to die in my sleeps so I would not have to face the world again because my depression had painted such a dark picture of my life and convinced me I was a failure. But I never got so down that I could actually take my life though at times I would of welcomed death which in itself is a scary thought.

For those of you who have never suffered depression I doubt if you will ever really understand these feeling or why they occur.

So I wish Robin Williams a good bye and thank you for all the light you brought to the world!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Where is Mr Cameron’s Big Society?

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One question I have to ask our Prime Minister, Mr Cameron, and his Conservative Party here in the United Kingdom where is the Big Society you promised us all here?

But as always Mr Cameron and his Conservative Party these were empty words and promises made in the hope it appeased their critics both within an outside of their party. They had no real intention of doing anything to change the way society here in the United Kingdom as it would not be in both their own and corporate supporters.

What they have done, like all Conservatives world wide, have put their corporate supporters and themselves before the Electorate who they actually serve and who actually voted them on their empty promises.

It is high time people finally woke up to Mr Cameron and the Conservative Party here in the United Kingdom as they simply do not care for the large majority of the people of the country and only make it easier for a small rich elite to exploit everyone else all in the aim of encouraging business and turning the economy around.

Simply put they have been lying to the large majority of the Electorate here and represent an establishment which is simply tired and lacks any real new ideas but still cling to old ideas and traditions which simply are not appropriate any more in modern country.

Simply put Mr Cameron’s Big Society is a myth and a lie!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

The Liberal Democrats Have Missed a Golden Chance!

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The most disappointing political party currently here in the United Kingdom has to be the Liberal Democrats who have failed to temper and even stop their authority on the Coalition Government here!

Rather than using their position as the party which keeps the Conservatives in power they have been very timid and easily dominated by the Conservatives basically allowing them to pursue policies which may have turned around the British economy but at an unacceptable cost to peoples livelihoods and freedoms.

The Liberal Democrats had an opportunity to change the direction of the government as they held the balance of power and an unprecedented opportunity to chance things but they squandered the opportunity and were to timid.

So the Liberal Democrats have sown the seed of their own destruction rather than taking the opportunity to shine and as a long term Liberal Democrat voter I will not be voting for them again as why should I vote for a Party which could only squander such an opportunity!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Just to Prove a Point!

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As always with my life over the last month at work I have proved a point that you do not have to be aggressive, hard nosed and hard salesman to sell people things or make money in a retail environment.

I have in the last month have helped to turn around the fortunes of a Tech Desk in a retail store from being a mediocre performer which just got it’s targets to a Tech Desk which regulatory get it’s targets to a point it will get noticed by other stores.

I’m not blowing my trumpet here, though someone has to as most people around me still have a nasty habit of treating me as stupid even unknowingly, but the fact they way I have done it, As I said above I have not done it by being aggressive, a hard nosed salesman or even selling or charging for things customer did not need!

But by a positive attitude towards my job and customers combined with a professional attitude, honesty and transparency towards my customers. Though I combine this with attitude I am there to sell my and my colleagues skills with computers and I am not afraid to ask for the money as after all we are there to make money which is something not to be embarrassed about or should be embarrassed about.

Add to this that I have the fact I always want to give the customer the best service I can with the tools and backup I have been given which sadly not as good as it should be plus one thing I never do is treat a customer as stupid even when they have been. Basically I treat them as I would be liked to be treated in a retail environment.

The most important thing I am doing it for me firstly not the company not my managers as it strangely gives me pleasure and satisfaction that I have a good job as it has always been because of the way I was brought up.

The biggest shame in all this that not everyone who works in a similar environments have the same attitudes when doing their work as they can put money before customers as one example which sadly shows in poor customer experiences.

Oh, there is a final point I am never going to like all my customers and I am grown up enough to know there will be those people who even when we do everything right will always find something wrong but that is all very normal part of life.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Our World of Lies!

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More and more I observe the modern world around me the more and more I am coming to the conclusion that we are not being told whole range of things happening in our world from part of the truth to blatant lies by governments down to individuals with an axe to grind.

In some cases we such expect it as most governments and politicians have been tell us lies for centuries so come part of the course to work out what the truth is behind their statements and we all know why they do it. Just nowadays they do put more spin which rather than hides what they are doing make it even more obvious to those people like myself who have their eyes open to what they are doing.

But now in our modern world it is not only governments who bend the truth even lie any more but those people with real issues about what is happening in the world and claim they are bringing the truth to the public attention have started to do the same trick as governments.

I suspect this is under the sad delusion such distortions of the truth to lies will grab peoples attention so they think the end justifies the means. But especially with people like myself it devalues their arguments to a point I now do not believe what they say any more or if I do I take it with a very big pinch of salt now. Rather than promoting their causes it now sets them back and they have lost their creditability.

Sadly such groups include the concerned with global warming who have told so many halve truths, blatant misinformation and disproved scientific theories I for one now simply do not believe them any more as their credibility with myself has gone.

Then we get to the biggest liars and tellers of half truths the big Corporations world wide who openly lie, spread misinformation and spread blatant propaganda all in the name of business and making money. Those within these corporation actually think what they are doing is right and proper because it promotes their businesses regardless of the fact in normal every interactions between people such behaviour is simply not acceptable.

But we see it every day from such corporations from small halve truths about products which simply to not work and never proved scientifically to the big and the lies and scare stories which included the Millennium Bug to Microsoft xp computers being suddenly attacked when Microsoft withdrew support for it, something which never happened much like the Millennium bug.

In conclusion my observations of the various governments, corporations, campaigning groups to individuals with drum to beat is that a large majority of them now think is perfectly acceptable to either bend the truth to lie as long as the end justifies the means. But they all have missed the fact once caught lying or bending the truth it devalues them and their causes which will eventually destroy what they are trying to achieve.

All this seams a very grim and cynical view of the world on my part but after so many years of life of accepting such behaviour from governments, corporations and campaigning groups, I have finally got fed up of being lied to and being treated like a fool by these people and groups!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CCCLXXIX

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Once again the unthinking actions of someone more concerned with his own position and making money than actually caring about the people has started off my obsessive thinking yet again and to put in mildly I am now very angry with them!

What makes it worse he had a go at the two people at work on the Tech desk who are actually making the company money unlike others who currently losing money and have bad behaviours on the Tech desk which the person in question has failed to do anything about.

I suspect the person in question believes myself and other person in question are weak people who are easy to tell off though he learnt yesterday that we are not and I was stupid enough to apologize to him when I should not as he was in the wrong I was not.

Today I am going to get the point across to him I am doing what I am at work due to professional and personal pride with my heart in the right place in so much I put the customers first. Plus I really do not care for both himself and companies attitude plus I doing what I am doing at work for me not the company or him.

Personally I dislike people like the person in question who put money and status before anything else as it shows a real lack of character and empathy for people. Plus in our modern world they are real source of lot of our problems in our modern world as their attitude is very selfish and self centred.

Well I am back to ranting again but as always when I write something down it magically leaves my mind and exorcise my demons a little which is always a good thing.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

Journal of a Lost Soul Part CCCLXXVIII

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Another week of work started without the usual annoyance or feeling of being trapped as few months ago which is a very pleasant feeling indeed both for me and everyone else around me. Though work is still a pain at times at least now I see it in perspective now as a way to earn a living be it a very basic one.

Add to this my mind is finally not obsessing about trivial matters any more but the future and other more creative things including map drawing and world building for a Role-Playing which is very nice for me as at least I can fall asleep at night not worrying. Though I still wake up too early at the moment but as always something not to overly worry about as it will eventually go away as I stop worrying about it.

So now another week of work ahead but also the next week of my life with all that it brings.

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

The Western Press Has Grown Lazy!

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The press in the west especially in the United Kingdom and United States have simply become lazy, driven by sensationalism and openly manipulated not by governments but very rich businessmen with their own political agendas, the most notable being Rupert Murdoch.

Over the last decades it must not of gone unnoticed by people like myself that the standards and integrity of the press as a whole has slowly slipped to a point it now only reports stories which it thinks people want to hear and sells rather than decades ago stores which actually informed us what was actually going on in the world.

As recently here in the United Kingdom with the phone tapping scandal at the News Corp owned papers here, strangely owned by Rupert Murdoch, implies that the whole culture of the press and it journalists, which here was held in high regard, has slipped into a culture of getting a story at any cost then only the stories which dish the dirt on famous people.

It also highlighted the press, even in the United Kingdom, is more concerned with trivial matters of the world that with lives of celebrities and the very rich while only skimming over the real important stories of the world including the plight of peoples caught in wars, famine or economic problems which are none of their doing.

In the West the press has become the mouth piece of those who are actually in power that is media moguls and very rich, not the governments, who blatantly manipulate the press to increase their influence and power both politically and socially. It does not take much digging to notice this as Rupert Murdoch and his family have been doing this for years in the United States, Australia and even United Kingdom and I am staggered that only few have actually got up and said anything about this blatant manipulation openly and most of the public accept this as normal.

Much like the rest of the West’s capitalism the press is more concerned with making money, keeping it’s share holders happy and increasing the power of it’s owners both politically and socially than actually reporting the news the truth about what is going on in the world.

The saddest part of all this the general public both here in the United Kingdom and in the United States seam not to care they are being fed a twisted truth and view of the world which centres celebrities and very rich who frankly give little to humanity or society in general unlike scientists, doctors and the such.

Plus there will be those reading this will think this all a bit of paranoia and clap trap on my part but all I suggest to these people is step back and actually look as what the press tells you it is very eye opening indeed and stop burying your heads in the ground in the hope it will go away and does not exists!

Please Note: If you are interested in a more personal scrapbook of mine just follow the link to Patterns in the Static!.

Please Note: If you are interested in my home page just follow the link to Experiment No. 3.

Please Note: If you are interested in my small social network just follow the link to On the Other Side!.

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